Friends in fight songs,
Now THIS is what a college football season feels like.
It took 10 weeks, but we finally get to start yelling at each other.
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Pick deadline: 9am PT Sat
Bulldogs-Volunteers looked like Pros vs. Joes. Alabama lost (AGAIN!) in excruciating/enjoyable fashion. Clemson was clobbered by the Flummoxin’ Irish.
Are the remaining undefeateds WORTHY enough? Which loss is better between the once-beatens? And what the hell are we supposed to do with LSU?
Well, Brian Kelly was BUILT for this. His resting purple face is the berating man’s six-pack, meticulously honed by a religious regimen of chewing up freshmen, and spewing a thousand curse words a day.
Oh, a two-loss team has never made the College Football Playoffs, you say? It’s time to make the Fairy Godmother BLUSH.
The College Football Playoff Committee’s intentionally vague criteria means we can move the goal posts like they’re crowd-surfing across a sea of obliterated orange fans at Neyland Stadium. EMBRACE DEBATE.
The Committee has been tasked with determining “the best four teams.” (Does this just mean Vegas Power Ratings? Alabama and Texas would still be alive. Recruiting rankings? Hellooooo JIMBO!)
Yeahhhh, the Committee can grab the d-pad and run any direction it wants, Tecmo Bowl style. Conference champ? (If it’s a conference we like.) Best loss? (But the earlier, the better.) Most quality wins? Just don’t factor in Margin of Victory! (Yes, Your Honor. We’re TOTALLY going to strike Oregon’s 49-3 loss from the record. Just drop the 4. It was actually an unremarkable 9-3 slugfest.)
The Committee also has the license to play God and dismiss an outcome/assume a different one if a key player was hurt - or will be hurt for future games! (Why did we need a Minority Report clause, again?)
But we’ve still got a month of football, with de facto playoff games starting now.
TCU needs to beat Texas, but if it remains undefeated, a Top-4 spot appears inevitable.
Michigan plays Ohio State. The winner is IN, barring a disastrous Big Ten Title Game. The loser still has a path, but it’ll be convoluted/controversial.
LSU can still win the Baddest Conference in the Land. A win over Georgia just might earn LSU a Playoff exemption and erase not just one loss, but TWO. In this unbelievable scenario, a one-loss Georgia has already clinched a Top-4 ranking?
To be clear, USC hasn’t beat ANYONE. But three straight wins against UCLA, Notre Dame, and a one-loss Oregon would presumably mean Caleb Williams won the Heisman as an unsackable, uninterceptable quarterback who also decided to shore up the defense as an edge rusher. The unlikely three-game parlay would land a Power-5* Conference Championship, something Tennessee can’t claim.
UCLA and Oregon can make similar claims, but we still have that What the Duck season opener. Because Tennessee sucked less against Georgia, would the Committee take the Volunteers over the Ducks? Oh, right. The Committee also includes the cast of Super Troopers.
That little loss? I wouldn’t worry about that little loss.
Even Clemson can dream about a one-loss season concluding with an ACC championship over a rejuvenated North Carolina. Boxes checked. Eye test failed.
As for Alabama, the eulogies have been written. We LOVE digging a grave for the Grave Digger himself.
Alabama is a field goal (both the one they missed and Tennessee’s make), plus a two-point-conversion stop away from an undefeated season. Instead, those two losses, in two of the most hostile road environments imaginable, have been declared a death knell.
Can they be resurrected via the “best team” argument? Or maybe Alabama can find an injury that would have altered the course of those two plays?
Otherwise, Nick Saban’s gonna have to unbox the Voodoo Doll he hung onto from his LSU coaching days and get to WORK.
CFB RECAP: THE PIRATE PREVAILS
Trampled Trombone Survivor Review: Almost 43% of us (74 Survivors) went with the combo of Mississippi State-Florida State. (Go State!) They both secured Ws, although the Bulldogs needed a field goal in the final minute before prevailing in OT. If you didn’t roll with our top pair? It was a slaughterhouse. Our next six most-popular teams lost - selections that were made 95 times.
As a result, we lost 49% of our Survivors, down from 175 in Week 10 to just 89 eligible pickers in Week 11. Still alive? You’re in the final 10%. But if Mississippi State hadn’t rallied against the Auburn Cadillacs? We’d be down to our final 15 Survivors.
Pick spreadsheet | Game outcomes
Rankings & Rivalries Pick'em Recap: A week ago, we went Full Harbaugh. This week, it was No Schiano. There were 744 of us who turned in picks for Week 11. Every single one of us picked Michigan. Yet at halftime, it was Rutgers 17, Michigan 14. We almost had the greatest upset in SZN history. Alas, Michigan outscored Rutgers 38-0 in the second half.
It was a similar story with Ohio State, as just a single soul took Northwestern. (That Moxie soldier was also one of just four on Colorado and six on Cal, but couldn’t pull the trigger on the Alabama or Clemson upsets.) At halftime, we were tied 7-7, before Ohio State pulled away in Biblical weather, 21-7.
As for the rest of us, our top five favorites won, so it came down to hitting on Notre Dame (23% picked) and LSU (13%). The Brian Kelly Hail Moxie. Four of us scored a perfect 10 in Week 10, our opening window of the third Interval. Five are now tied for the Overall lead at 62, while 31 of us are within two wins of first. Shoutout to @TunaBoat, who is tied for first overall in Rankings & Rivalries, and tied for second in our Vandy Inclusivity Pick’em. You can pick’em like Charles Woodson ball-hawking a Ryan Leaf duck in the Rose Bowl.
Weekly standings | Game outcomes
Team SZN Bragging Rights: Mrs. Merf is STILL tied for the Overall lead after an 8-2 week. I shamed her into picking Notre Dame over Clemson. I’ll give her credit for the other 61 wins. Stat Czar made a late switch TO Clemson in Trampled Trombone, but he’s still one of just 10 alive in SEC-vivor after Mississippi State’s NARROW win. And I’m MR. 32ND PERCENTILE now, Hun. Every percentile counts.
WEEK 11 SCOUTING REPORT
Merf takes a peek at this weekend's matchups...
Blue Turf Rank & Bank
- The Playoff Committee released its second set of rankings Tuesday evening. Georgia moved to No. 1, while the Vols tumbled to the top of the one-loss pecking order at No. 5, one spot ahead of Oregon. A situation we will be monitoring the rest of the way.
- Will a Pac-12 title be enough to erase a seven-touchdown loss to Georgia? Tennessee managed a back-door two-touchdown loss to the same Bulldogs. If margin of victory doesn’t matter, but conference championships do, Tennessee isn’t safe.
- The Top 4 are undefeated. Ohio State, Michigan and TCU also secured Top 4 rankings.
- Two-loss LSU is now ranked seventh, one spot ahead of one-loss USC. Alabama still lurks at No. 9, although it’s running out of runway to jump teams with wins of its own.
- Clemson is still 10th, and can win a conference title to bolster its stature - if all hell breaks loose above them.
Survivor and Pick’em
- SEC-vivor requires two picks this week. Many of us have already spent Georgia, Alabama and Tennessee, and all of us burned Ole Miss and Mississippi State. Sooooo… how are we feeling about Texas A&M at Auburn???
- Auburn is the home favorite. The two teams are 5-5 since Texas A&M joined the SEC. Texas A&M has won the last two matchups, but has lost five straight this year. While many Aggie fans wish they could fire JIMBO, Auburn actually DID fire its coach two weeks ago. It’s a matchup only The SZN could love.
- And this is the FINAL week for SEC-vivor. If we have multiple survivors (or if everyone flames out), we'll move to a Tiebreaker Pickoff in Week 12, as outlined in the full rules
- Elsewhere, Washington has a decent cushion in its all-time series with Oregon (60-48-5). But if you’re not old enough to remember Napolean Kauffman dancing around in the Husky baskfield, this rivalry might as well be sepia-toned. Or is that Nike’s next Oregon jersey combination?
- Since 1993, Oregon is 20-6. Tyrone Willingham, Steve Sarkisian and Chris Petersen went a combined 2-13 with Washington in this series.
Arkansas just lost to Liberty. All the way back in Week 8, LSU and Liberty were separated by just 39 points in the AP Poll. - Last week, Kansas beat a ranked team for the first time in 46 tries. Kansas is now 3-3 in the Big-12, and still has a chance at a Top-2 finish, which would earn a berth to the conference championship game. Texas Tech is just 2-4 in conference.
- Baylor and Kansas State are both 4-2 in the Big-12, but the Bears have won the last four in this series.
- In Survivor, 31 of us have Georgia available (at Mississippi State) in Trampled Trombone, while only two can take them in SEC-vivor.
- Alabama lost a second game before the Iron Bowl for the first time since 2010. That is also the last time the Crimson Tide were ranked worse than THIRD when they played Ole Miss.
- Why is Alabama “struggling” this year? They’re minus-4 in turnover differential, mired in a tie for 99th nationally.
- For the Moxie inclined, Ole Miss has only beaten Bama twice since 2003.
As a reminder, Nick Saban hasn’t lost consecutive regular-season games since 2007. - TCU is undefeated, and ranked fourth by the Playoff Committee. The three-loss Longhorns are a TOUCHDOWN FAVORITE.
- Hey Vegas, DO YOU THINK HORNED FROGS ARE A JOKE?!?
- Is it the Gary Patterson effect? TCU’s map-placer is now an assistant at Texas. TCU won six of the last eight matchups against Texas under Patterson, who was fired midway through last season.
- Tulane is ranked 16th in the AP Poll, while Central Florida - SORRY, UCF - is 22nd. It’s the first time Tulane has played a ranked matchup IN 49 YEARS. Tulane lost that one - the 1973 Bluebonnet Bowl - 49-7 to Houston.
- In recent times, Tulane beat Kansas State - currently ranked No. 23 - earlier this season.
- No. 15 North Carolina is 8-1 with a Heisman-contending quarterback and a chance to clinch a berth into the ACC title game. Wake Forest has lost its last two games by a combined 36 points while turning the ball over more than a JV team facing a full-court press for the first time. So obviously the Demon Deacons are a 3.5-point favorite.
Yours in baggy khakis and bubble gum,
Merf