Friends in eye black,
Tell me two better smells than October baseball.
"Commish, that isn't a smell."
Who gave you the gavel? Did Randy Johnson seek permission before dialing up 4-seam dove-killers? Did Royce Lewis seek permission before sending an 18-game postseason losing streak into the upper decks?
It smells f***ing utopian. And it's time to reveal our first-ever set of MLB Playoffs Pick'em picks.
WILD CARD SERIES PICKS
Picks:
- PHI over MIA (85% to 15%)
- TB over TEX (74/26)
- MIL over ARI (69/31)
- TOR over MIN (64/36)
COMMISH COMMENTARY
No postseason is as famously hard-to-predict as baseball's postseason.
We've done Playoffs Pick'em pools in many other sports, and the question is always "will someone go perfect?"
In baseball, Commish isn't convinced that's the right question.
Surely we'll get some 4-0s this week, but remember that in 22 weeks of regular season MLB Pick'em picking, we had ONE perfect weekly record and 8,116 imperfect records.
1 - 8,116.
Yes, the weekly Pick'em requires 15 series picks vs. the 11 in these playoffs. But still. Commish thinks 10-1 is FAR likelier to be our winning record than 11-0. And 9-2 is definitely a possibility.
COMMENT AWARDS
The “3-0 Green Light” Moxie Award
Boldest pick (with a comment). You can't win a SZN competition without a little Moxie!
@hikee44 (Rays, Jays, Marlins, D'backs): "Baseball sure was baseball this past season, but does baseball get less basebally in the playoffs? Or does chaos ensue? I vote for the latter."
Commish says: Three Vegas underdogs right out of the gates? THIS MAN IS A GRIZZLED SZN VET!
Bartolo Colon Home Run Club Award
The week's funniest/best comment (a club of one, just like Big Sexy’s career home run total)
@Davidb113 (Rays, Jays, Phillies, Brewers): "5th place in pickem and then I blow it the last 2 weeks and only get 9 right. Dropped from 5th to 30th. Someone give me the heimlich - talk about choking. This is my redemption. Remember this take - I'm going 11 for 11 in playoff pickem and going into the SZN history books. If not I'll never drink another BLL again."
Commish says: I was going to say that your humbleness would cause the Survivor Gods to look favorably upon you in in these playoffs. But then you pulled out some Stat Czar-esque hubris with that 11/11 prediction and now I'm not sure. BUT THEN YOU THREATENED BLL MORATORIUM AND WE CANNOT HAVE THAT. GO DAVID GO.
"I Could Sell You Expos Tickets" Award
The week's most convincing comment, because there's still a market for Expos tickets
@jrcondon (Rays, Jays, Phillies, Brewers): "I think starting pitching wins these series'. Hottest take all SZN long."
Commish says: Remember that one time the Twins had prime Santana and Liriano? Have you heard of Clayton Kershaw? Do you know Scottie Scheffler and Matt Stafford both went to Kershaw's high school and actually they're all THE SAME PERSON?!
Biggest Bat Flip Award
You think your hot take has spice? GO SPICIER.
@Shaggybrak (Rays, Twins, Phillies, D'backs): "Is there a mojo way unjinx the f***ing Twins? I used to have a poster honoring their '87 WS win in my basement apartment (dungeon room in my parents’ house) - they were 85-77. This year they’re 87-75 isn’t that some sort of frequency bullshit from Skinwalker Ranch? Like if you point a laser at the Twin Cities and it refracts mysteriously toward Cooperstown, Kirby Puckett’s head oddly inflates to the size of his ass, Jack Morris’s mustache inexplicably falls to ground mutilated with surgical precision, and Lord Byron shockingly gets healthy and STAYS that way! My poster was the worthless one selling on Mercari for $5 because it was painted, and clearly did not have the rights to the likeness of any players. It featured a player in a #42 jersey who sorta looks like Mike Schmidt swinging at the plate while the Twins celebrate winning in the background. The guy at the plate wearing #42 - no one wore a #42 in 1987 - is conveniently covering the only player in the background with visible writing on their jersey. You can only see an Lom, then mystery 42’s bat, followed by a zzi. Guess the artist screwed Steve Lombardozzi out of some sweet side merch royalties there huh? But maybe a career .233 guy who hit .412 during the series featured on a Bib Riss oil painting poster is just the sort of upside down stranger things we History Channel basement nerds need to see them go all the way! "
Commish says: The fact you are a fellow Twins fan makes all of your other comments this SZN make SO MUCH MORE SENSE.
MORE COMMENTS
@Moondogs (Rangers, Twins, Phillies, Brewers): "Picking the longer established teams! That should work!"
Commish says: WHERE ARE THE EXPOS
@Jmkahn (Rays, Twins, Phillies, D'backs): "Wait why can’t I pick the Mets or Yankees? Oh yea that’s right."
Commish says: Do you ever get tired of this bit, Kahn? No, wait, let me ask a non-rhetorical question. KAHN, I KNOW, I ASKED YOU TO WAIT.
@StatCzar (Rangers, Jays, Phillies, Brewers): "COMMISH: 'How does it feel to have ceremonially won the MLB regular series pick’em? What are your thoughts on the playoffs?' STAT CZAR: 'Please leave me alone. Don’t throw rocks at the throne.'"
Commish says: THANK YOU FOR BREAKING THE TWINS' CURSE YOU'RE GOING 0-11.
@CoachGib9 (Rangers, Twins, Phillies, D'backs): "But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it’s a part of our past …It reminds us of all that once was good and that could be again… People will most definitely come."
Commish says: This writing is so magical it should be featured in some sort of movie.
@Takedown197 (Rangers, Twins, Phillies, Brewers): "We are going streaking! Twins about to break their 19-year, 18-game playoff losing streak."
Commish says: 50 million Twins fans can't be wrong!!
@kbanaian (Rays, Jays, Phillies, Brewers): "Heartbreak at Target Field."
Commish says: I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.
@morea1ms (Rays, Twins, Marlins, D'backs): "No more copy/paste about the Twins never winning in the playoffs, Commish... this is the year!"
Commish says: SEE THIS IS HOW FRIENDS FRIEND
Yours in stealing home,
The Commish