Friends in fútbol,

Commish is NOT happy with y'all.

Bournemouth is not good. But you know who else is very NOT good? Burnley. And Bournemouth had a home match vs. Burnley yesterday.

Survivor opportunity, right?! Apparently not. Just THREE survivors took Bournemouth, which dispatched of Burnley, 2-1.

The reckoning is coming. Commish tried to warn you. Am I'm gonna keep my electric green inflatable Bud Light Lime lifeboat at home. (It makes a nice beer ice bath.)

COMMISH COMMENTARY

The "Chelsea is a meme" campaign continued yesterday.

Commish told you last week that 2023 Chelsea was the Jameis Winston of the EPL - just pick the OPPOSITE of whatever Vegas says will happen.

Right on cue, they lost at home, 2-0, to Brentford.

Somehow, only THREE of us picked the Bees to pull off the upset. (And was it even an upset, really?)

With the heavy Villa picking, EVERY current top 7 club has been picked by at least 66% of survivors.

And every current top 11 club has been picked by at least half of survivors.

Shout-out to @brianrwagner, @DJDUSTY, and @Carpjh87, who are the three who picked Bournemouth and survived.

And a huge hat tip to our two Burnley pickers, who went down, but went down in a blaze of MOXIE-FUELED GLORY: @bigzoo24 and @yjcc.

YOUR BEST COMMENTS

@edudeus (Villa): "This is not the week Luton surprises."
Commish says: [Whispers] Luton is 1-2-2 in its last five.

@RotoJeff (Villa): "This is where going chalk early is going to come back to bite. Villa is going to be 75 percent rostered and I can't find a good pot-odds pivot."
Commish says: I love when you do this shit. If Commish ever disappears mysteriously, HIRE ROTOJEFF FOR THE JOB.

@Noteldar (Arsenal): "This is the right time to start thinking at least one week ahead "
Commish says: While I can't know *exactly* what you're thinking, I DO see that Villa's next two opponents are Forest and Fulham. Not exactly a Murderer's Row.

@kempsoos (Pick'em): "Idk… I mean the sports that actually use their hands have started and now my picks in the European elevated Hackysack league have suffered. What’s a guy to do?"
Commish says: I dare you to make this comment in a British pub. Invite me, please.

@therealjacinto (Pick'em): "Manifesting Tottenham's draw"
Commish says: You're manifesting five draws, Jacinto. I don't know how to tell you this, but that's a LOT of manifesting.

@Ickey_Woods_Shuffle (Pick'em): "Chokin' on all the chalk on the pitch. Need a Guinness to wash down the powdery particles. Repeat after me: Bangers & Mash, Bangers & Mash, Bangers & Mash..."
Commish says: Contrary to (non)popular belief, Guinness does not pair well with chalk. Nothing pairs well with chalk. But you know what pairs excellently with Guinness? MOXIE.

@matthewf10 (Pick'em): "Will I ever make a perfect pick week"
Commish says: Yes but only if you stop picking Chelsea to win.

Yours in show dives,
The Commish