Friends in fútbol,

How is it even possible to lose to Sheffield but then beat Spurs IN THE SAME WEEK?

It's times like these when we're reminded that Sheffield, Wolves, all of them - they're full of the best fútbol players in the world.

They're not all Peak Haaland. None are (yet) Peak Henry. But 90 percent of them could probably score more goals at striker than anyone the U.S. Men's National Team has ever trotted out.

EPL Chaos SZN is still running STRONG. When will it end?!

RESULTS SUMMARY

EPL Survivor results

Record: 18-7. Newcastle's shocking 2-0 loss to Bournemouth took down five of us

Best Squad(s): Say hello to our first FÚT Squad title! With 3 of the final 18 survivors in their Squad, "EPL with Nigel" is guaranteed some Squad prizes. Only if someone in that Squad wins the pool will they NOT be our "Best Performing Squad" (because Champ's Squad isn't eligible to win both; we want to spread the love around)

EPL Pick'em (Half 1) results

Best performance: 7/10 was the best any of us could muster. Congrats to @jfillnow15 and @HD2132 who split the weekly haul

Best Squad(s): Still VERY tight at the top. Anyone's game with seven matchdays left

Overall standings: @schm0869 is now alone on top after a 6/10 (far above average) performance. @allenraines lurks one back

Interval 2 standings: @crozenwaser has somehow produced 12 correct picks over an absolutely brutal start to Interval 2 (M11-19). Five others are at 11

COMMISH COMMENTARY

Commish is considering whether "Avoid road clubs" should already be enshrined as a Survivor Golden Rule.

It's been an NFL Survivor Golden Rule for 10+ years, though its golden-ness is fading as homefield advantage fades almsot entirely in the NFL.

But it's an age-old truism that "it's hard to win away matches in the EPL". And, man, we felt that this past weekend.

Spurs lost on the road at Wolves. Newcastle lost on the road at previously 1-3-7 Bournemouth. Man City couldn't put Chelsea away at Stamford Bridge (electric 4-4 tie).

And if you look at the even-more-chaotic Matchday 11, the story is much the same:

• Wolves lose at previously winless Sheffield.
• Arsenal suffer their first loss at Newcastle.
• Liverpool draws and very nearly loses at Luton Town.

Commish isn't as smart (yet!) about EPL historicals as he is NFL historicals, so you can reply and tell me whether this is "Golden Rule" status!

Should we do a Survivor or Pick'em in Half 2? Would you suggest any other formats?

Our Half 2 slate currently includes an EPL "All 20" One-and-Done (Commish is STOKED for this), a UCL Bracket for the Knockout Stage, and UCL Props for the Final in June.

Should we add anything? What? Reply to this email and let me know!

Yours in show dives,
The Commish