Friends in football,
BIG Survivor is down to 5. Is today the day we award the BFIG Title Belt for the 15th time?
Loser Survivor WILL crown a champ, as we're in a pickoff for the title.
It's fitting, then, that our picks are dominated by 6-7 and 7-6 teams. The entire NFL feels like a Jeff Fisher parade toward sublime average-ness.
If you squint, see meaning in these 7-6 vs. 7-6 matchups, and get it right, that's why you're still making survivor picks while 99% of us are spectating.
Commish can hear it - a faint chrous raining down from Mt. Wilforkest - "Our 2023 work is done. We remain eternally undefeated. Survivor rules? At this point? It's about FEEL, BABY."
And you thought the Survivor Gods didn't have personality.
FUN PICK STATS
These are highlights - cool/fun/interesting things I see in our pick data.
Can one of our 5 BIG Survivors make history?
Since we moved to the current BIG Survivor format (two picks starting in Week 10), the pool has ended in Weeks 14, 13, 16, 15, and 14.
It'll take at least two survivors getting 4 more picks right to take it to Week 17, but if they do, history awaits...
@jsturner 5 extended his lead as BFIG's all-time winningest picker this year.
Being an OG BFIG'er (2009) certainly helps, but consistent picking excellence is the key.
@jsturner5 is at 78 all-time BIG Survivor wins - nine ahead of @robbobobbo, and 10 ahead of @Raiders2016, @Soggiebear, and @jzentgraf.
Notably, @Raiders2016 and @Soggiebear both didn't join The SZN until 2016. So they are coming on HOT.
A fun fact: @Raiders2016 has both the most BFIG wins (67) AND losses (10) since 2016. They've dropped both Week 10 picks in each of the last two years.
Commish is T18, at 59 all-time BFIG wins. I'm also proof that wisdom accumulates; I had just 18 wins from 2009 through 2015. I've picked up 41 since.
Tommy DeVito has risen to a 1.3% pick rate in our QB One-and-Done - good for 27 picks.
THE JERSEY REVOLUTION IS UPON US!!!
In related news, Matt Stafford (306 picks) and Joe Flacco (269 picks) are our 2nd and 3rd biggest picks. So maybe it's not the revolution and instead it's still 2009.
The more things change the more they...
ELEVEN teams were picked by at least 9% of our All 32 One-and-Done players.
This is what Commish has been waiting for!
And it's a REAL motley crew:
- Raiders (23%)
- Colts (17%)
- Rams (16%)
- Bengals (15%)
- Falcons (15%)
- Titans (14%)
- Giants (14%)
- Eagles (12%)
- Panthers (11%)
- Bears (9%)
- Chiefs (9%)
HOW DID THE EAGLES AND CHIEFS GET IN THERE?
With just 3 weeks left, the Panthers are still at just a 30% usage rate. The Cards are at 28%. Everyone has to pick every team.
Bring on the YOLO picks, y'all.
COMMENT AWARDS
"You've Got Moxie, Kid" Award
The SZN's second most prestigious award, behind the BFIG Title Belt. You can't win a SZN pool without a little Moxie!
@Ziqness (Panthers and Bengals, All 32 One-and-Done): "2 of my 3 losses in this pool coming on Monday night and by the hands of Minnesota and the Captain Kirks/Passtronauts (F*** Star Trek and Space). The double Whammy was the week 7 loss 49ers vs Vikings MNF game that knocked me out of every pool (bfig, 2nd chance, loser, etc.) I'm a life long 49ers that was born in Minnesota go f***ing figure. The fact I still got a chance at this pool is outrageous but I'll take bleak chances over being out. Crack open a case of BLL we're riding... CAROLINA and CINCY into the sunset Bitches!!! "
Commish says: That wild Bengals win... IT WAS YOU, ZIQNESS. We shall heretoforth refer to it as The Ziqness Birthplace Exorcism.
Commish Communication Award
Our best weekly comment (or three)
@Jmkahn (Stafford, QB One-and-Done): "Who gets more airtime on NFL broadcasts the remainder of the season; Taylor Swift or Sean "the hat is kind of my thing" Stellato?"
Commish says: Stellato in a landslide. Can you take my bet, Kahn? No? Can you find me someone in Jersey who will? YOU KNOW THEY EXIST, KAHN.
"I Could Sell You Bengals Tickets" Award
Most convincing comment. (When BFIG began in 2009, the Bengals were AWFUL.)
@YikesVikes (Bears and Giants, All 32 One-and-Done): "Is anyone really buying Joe Flacco right now? Flacco has thrown for five touchdowns and two interceptions over his first two starts for the Browns. He’s 1-1 with Cleveland and has completed just 55.1% of passes and has no running ability. Bears beat the Lions and now the Browns. Saints are a team that, frankly, isn’t very good. New Orleans has been absolutely terrible under Dennis Allen, and the Giants have been very feisty in Brian Daboll’s tenure. I’ll take NY as underdogs with an end of the game winning TD."
Commish says: Is this... is this... a Giants pick that doesn't mention Tommy DeVito ONCE? Is this also a Joe Flacco shade pick at the same time? I AM ON STIMULUS OVERLOAD. Also, I asked Stat Czar about Flacco given he lives in Ohio. He said “I’ve seen multiple people asking how soon Flacco Browns jerseys will be available. Also saw a post on a Browns fan page replacing George Washington crossing the Delaware with Flacco. So."
Definitely Not Concussed Award
Wildest take
@Saintfan4lyf (Howell, QB One-and-Done): "Howell jinx is in"
Commish says: So, a lot of people make comments like this, but I looked at your QB One-and-Done pick history and... my lord. You got 140 from Stroud, 139 from Kirky, 222 from Burrow, 204 from Dak, and 112 from Geno. APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE, SAMMY HOW.
MORE COMMENTS
@rnorwood (Stafford, QB One-and-Done): "I had to cobble together a lengthy presentation for executive staff the other day. Someone suggested that I have, "Big Slide Deck Energy." I'm not really sure it was a compliment, nor do I know what that gets me. "
Commish says: Do you already have a t-shirt with these words emblazoned on it? If not, send me your address I have a Christmas gift you're gonna love.
@Autovhanchilly (Raiders and Packers, BIG Survivor): "I definitely didn’t realize these show up on the homepage comment board, so probably smart to keep my cards face down. I do want to give a few shoutouts:
@TheCommish - Thank you for running this league.
Jameis Winston - You didn’t get the start, but I think we know you were the true winner after yesterday #benchcarr.
@Dumland - Dan’s finder fee goes up as my winnings go up. First text from Dan this morning, “be proactive on getting that email sent, not to tell you how to live your life or anything”.
My wife - She is very happy right now, 5th place covers the new front door."
Commish says: The SZN: Improving marriages - and sparking new ones - since 2009!!!
@cmart1220 (Zappe, QB One-and-Done): "After a spark last week, and getting snubbed for MNF this week the Pats are looking for some Zappe Hour magic. He may not have that Minshew mustache or the Fitzmagic facial (and chest) hair but he does have two first names and a 3-1 record as a starter!"
Commish says: Wait, wait, wait... what human do you know with the first name Zappe? And more importantly, GET ZAPPE IN THE POOL!!!
@BRWN (Flacco, QB One-and-Done): "F it. Thug life. "
Commish says: [Commish rises from his slumber] ... [Gets a call from GM] ... GM: "Funny comment just now - they said, 'F it. Thug life.'" ... [Commish rubs his eyes, struggles with why this is funny] ... "Oh yeah? What was it a pick for?" ... GM: "Joe Flacco"
@FreddyGoBlue (Weekly Pick'em): "Is it just me or is this getting harder every week???"
Commish says: "It's just a weekly pick'em, but, you know, with BACKUP QBs ONLY!" ... who says no?!?
@ekahn93 (Raiders and Ravens, All 32 One-and-Done): "I never said the Eagles were going to beat the Cowboys last week. I never said it. You may have heard it, you may have thought it, and it might be true, but I never said it. It was a strategic loss. Let everyone think you're going through a rough patch, let the lesser team get a big head thinking this is a bigger win than when they beat Daniel Jones by 30 points. Mike McCarthy isn't the type of coach to change a game plan on the fly. And when they have to play a game from behind, they'll run a 2 yard Pollard play with the clock ticking while they beat their chest and shout "we dem boys" to the adoration of literally no one. Let them shout "yeah here we go" all the way to a first round exit of the playoffs. The Eagles were better off losing last weekend. Now please excuse me while I watch all 8 Harry Potter movies to continue living in a fantasy world."
Commish says: This comment would be pure absurdity in the absence of Mike McCarthy. But since Mike McCarthy is indeed the coach of the Dallas Cowboys, we're stamping this "ACCURATE." NEXT COMMENT.
@Lootsdoolb (Weekly Pick'em): "It’s about to be the Mullens’ Show in Cincy! Until he gets injured… Then we’re back to the Dobbs Show, until he gets benched (again). Then, hold onto your hats cuz it’s the Jaren Hall Show, woooo! Until he gets concussed (again). Then, finally, the Dobbs Show once more. Vikes, somehow, by 1."
Commish says: This is every game for Minnesota, right? "Vikes, somehow, by 1" OR "Vikes, somehow, lost in excruciating fashion." Can an NFL team decrease life expectancy in its state? Should someone commission a study in Minnesota?
@doctorbong (Browns and Rams, All 32 One-and-Done): "I love this format! (and not just because I’m doing well, although that definitely helps)"
Commish says: I'm not doing well and I LOVE IT, TOO.
@hikee44 (Bucs and Giants, All 32 One-and-Done): "I'm basically out, but very interested in how the rest of the season shakes out amongst the leaders..."
Commish says: All 32 OAD for the win!!!
@Jdblom83 (Weekly Pick'em): "Had to make 16 picks - which is funny because that's about the same number of teams where I don't know who the starting quarterback is or whether they are any good. I played in HS 20 years ago and I think there's an 18% chance I may be starting for some team. And I wouldn't even be the oldest stating QB (thanks Joe Flacco)."
Commish says: Joe Flacco is 17 days older than LeBron James. Let that sink in for a second.
@DSchill (Weekly Pick'em): "I'm 0-for-4 in the classic pools this year. My kids and mom aren't getting presents this year unless this week pays off. I realized I've donated to dozens of others in the world while in the SZN community, so it makes my heart warm to think I'm providing presents to all those people and their loved ones. Sniff, sniff. I'm good with losing again, I think. "
Commish says: Can someone at least get this man in a winning Squad? HE IS GOOD AND KIND AND GENEROUS!
@judigregry (Weekly Pick'em): "This week’s WeeWoo Squad Pod ponder… if "Bearded Clams" claim Best Squad and BLL trophy, will the celebration feature Bud Light Bearded Clamato Micheladas with lime? If so I want to join their squad!"
Commish says: DO YOU WORK FOR BUD LIGHT AND IF SO CAN YOUR BRILLIANT IDEAS PLEASE MAKE US SOME SPONSORSHIP MONEY
@KyleCorto (Weekly Pick'em): "When I go 16-0, can you please donate my winnings to a local food kitchen? But all in singles of course!"
Commish says: Corto has made some version of this comment, every week, for years. It's going to hit once. IS THIS THE WEEK?!
@kbanaian (Stafford, QB One-and-Done): "Remember that video with the woman photographer falling off a stage while trying to get a picture of drunk Stafford celebrating a Super Bowl? I just watched it again."
Commish says: LEAVE THAT WOMAN ALONE, BANAIAN.
Yours in football,
The Commish