BFIG Nation,
Picture Commish, Bud Light Lime'd up after a furious pick comment review, literally jumping in the air and GRONKSPIKING his laptop keyboard... three times bc shit is hard to click... to send this email.
Special edition PICKS because 1) Pats-Chiefs pick transparency, and 2) REAL FOOTBALL. HERE WE GO!
PATS-CHIEFS OPENER: PICKS AND FAST FACTS
List of every person picking Pats-Chiefs in Week 1
- 280 people picked the Pats. Commish is surprised it's that low because there are a lot of Week 1 exit scars out there! That said, saving the Patriots is pretty damn valuable, and hey, the Chiefs are pretty good.
- Did you hear that? The Chiefs are pretty good, right? THREE people picked the Chiefs. More on this below.
- The Pats have won 48 games when picked in BFIG (1st all-time)
- They have an 84% winning percentage when picked (1st)
- They won 13 damn times when picked last year (1st)
- They accounted for 1,212 BFIG victories last year (4th)
OUR FIRST PICKING AWARDS OF THE SEASON
"You've Got Moxie, Kid" Award
The SZN's third most prestigious award, behind the BFIG Title Belt and the Haynesworth Hustle Award. You can't win BFIG without showing a little Moxie!
Three bold, buoyant, braggadocious, boggling-the-mind-brave souls picked the Chiefs tonight. GOOD ON YOUR BAD SELVES, @jeffreybaginski, @mesbks, and @RotoJeff.
None left a comment, but we did have the perfect ANTI-Moxie pick comment:
@mikerosolio (Patriots): "There are two band aids I have to rip off every year: when I'm forced to pick New England or Pittsburgh. Well, I think the Browns are going to win week one, but not enough to pick them because I like money. Kansas City is actually really good, but the Patriots have had months to prepare for this game. Plus, ESPN already has the post-game victory interviews with Brady, Belichick, and Julian Edelman (who they haven't realized is out for the season but have already prepared to give him a job as an analyst). "
Commish says: Mike, only one thing matters with your pick. It's the "Patriots" next to your username, when you said A) You hate the Steelers, and B) You think the Browns are gonna win. BE A LEGEND, MIKE!!!
"I Could Sell You Bengals Tickets" Award
When BFIG began in 2009, the Bengals were AWFUL. Can you convince anyone that your pick is the right pick? Then I bet you could sell Bengals tickets, too!
@dustingrenier (Patriots): "I'm blowing my load to get by week 1... I'm terrified of not surviving this! So I'm going with the golden rules of not picking within the division and not picking road teams. I only have 3 games to choose from - Patriots, Packers, and Vikings. Odds are best with the the golden boy Brady!"
Commish says: This was a very real circumstance in Week 1: Only THREE games that met all the golden survivor rules. Sometimes you can't avoid 'em, and you know Commish loves Moxie, but generally, you live by these: Don't pick road teams, don't pick divisional games, avoid previous year(s) reputation picks, and records matter more than perception. Did you hear that last one? Records matter more than perception!!! Well, unless it's the above-.500 Jeff Fisher Rams. Then lol nvm.
MORE PICK COMMENTS
@codem0n (Patriots): "I dunno man, cause the Patriots don't lose? I can't even feel anymore after being eliminated in week 15 last year. Maybe my pulse will return if I can get to week 10 or something. Until then my strategy will be to pick good teams."
Commish says: This is what BFIG does to you. Loss leads to fear leads to safety. YODA COMMISH IN THE HOUSE!!!
@BRO_D4 (Patriots): "Commish, I've been writing to you for three years now. Where's the love? I drink Bud Light Limes, I lasted until the very end last season and Davante Adams led me to fantasy football glory last year. Are you not impressed? I feel like Miles Teller in Whiplash and you're just sitting there asking me if I'm "RUSHING OR DRAGGING!!" I just want to feel noticed, Commish. Is that so much to ask?"
Commish says: You said the magic words! Was it Bud Light Lime? No, but I mean, pretty damn close. Was it "three years?" No, but also pretty damn close you wily vet. Was it "feel noticed?" Nope, but I understand. Was it "Davante Adams?" YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT WAS. THE GREEN BAY PACKERS WILL WIN THE SUPER BOWL!!! (OK, but honestlty, the whole comment was golden. Great work.)
@briandimenna (Patriots): "I stared at this list for a very long time trying to talk myself into one team or another, then just said f*** it, I'll take the Patriots and sleep like a baby. Let everyone else sweat it out in the God forsaken mental nightmare that is Week 1."
Commish says: Brian speaks for the people!!! But, real talk: I lost picking the Patriots in Week 2, 2012. (Part of my now SIX straight seasons losing in the first three weeks.) You think it's impossible until it happens. Then you're inconsolably depressed for, like, 3 hours... until you remember you can resume resenting Tom Brady even more than you currently do.
@msbernste (Patriots): "Week one and I'm already burning the Pats. I must be crazy or 12 BLL's deep. But I don't care because TOM BRADY DOES NOT LOSE AT HOME! "
Commish says: Public Service Announcement: Can anyone who is 12 BLLs deep please take a short video and send to Commish? Thx luv u bye.
@ctripodi (Patriots): "I have no balls..."
Commish says: It's OK. When Tom Brady is 78 and still slinging TDs in Super Bowl 90, we'll be wondering the same thing about him. Err, about... it.
@shrantz4485 (Patriots): "First year, first week, first time doing this...I'm going to be boring as f***. That is all."
Commish says: Is this also your first time being boring as f***? How about first time drinking BLL? Did you know it's impossible to be boring as f*** if you're drinking BLL? YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW.
Good luck, everyone!