Trubisky Truthers,
Commish has a fireside story for you on this Christmas Eve. Bundle up. Grab a cocoa. Maybe some Jujubees.
There once was a quarterback who should have been a soccer dad with a side gig as a world-class unoffensive Santa Claus, perfect for East Coast prep preschool Christmas events.
He once threw seven passes in a game, completed four of them, and smiled two times.
He once followed a seven-pass-attempt game with a 14-for-32 performance for 164 yards and an interception with no touchdowns. He kept his job because he's supremely unoffensive, which somehow translates to hope in beaten-down football towns.
He's never thrown more than one touchdown in an NFL game, because that would be showy.
He's none other than Mitchell Trubisky, and ALL SEVEN remaining BFIGers are riding him and his 4-10 Chicago Bears against the Cleveland Browns today. (Survivor) god help us.
WEEK 16 PICKS AND FAST FACTS
Your group pages show you picks for just that group
Your friends' BFIG picks >>
Your friends' Second Chance picks >>
Your friends' BRANDO!!! picks >>
FAST FACTS:
- Our Bears usage is rare but not unprecedented this late in a season. In 2011, eight of the final 10 picked Philly at home in Week 16. The Eagles lost (to the Joe Webb Vikings!), Carolina also lost, and @dave was suddenly our season 3 champ.
- On a better note, Oakland was the pick for five of our final six in Week 15, 2010. The Raiders won, pushing everyone to Week 16... where they all promptly lost.
- For those wondering, if everyone loses on the same week in BFIG, we move to a tiebreaker pickoff the next week. Pick all games. Most wins is the champ.
- @footballnovice still has the Patriots available. Incredible resolve.
- The 4-10 Bears are picked out in BFIG. Just wanted to write that line for all future generations to consume.
- I was at the Vikings-Packers game last night at Lambeau
- With Jordy Nelson and Davante Adams already out, Geronimo Allison was effectively our second starting wide receiver. Mike McCarthy still had Allison in on special teams in the fourth quarter. Allison promptly got hurt on kickoff coverage.
- The Packers need to fire Mike McCarthy.
WEEK 16 AWARDS
"You've Got Moxie, Kid" Award
Commish is pretty disappointed in our seven Title Belt hopefuls this week. NO ONE was like, "I'm doing my own thing *hair flip* *non-Bears pick*"? He does have a Moxie Drumstick, though, for BRANDO combatant @rcpauls01, who still has the Pats available and yet decided to make the New York Football Giants one of his three selections this week. You are what survivor dreams are made of, @rcpauls01. Merry Moxiemus to you.
Commish Communication Award
@aztec4life (Lions, Cardinals, Eagles - BRANDO): "Once again, how am I still in this?!"
Commish says: Light candles, sit cross-legged, turn on low volume pissed off crowd noise, and ask Brandogod himself.
"I Could Sell You Bengals Tickets" Award
@Tbos22 (Panthers, Redskins, Eagles - BRANDO): "I somehow have “too many” decent choices for week 16. "
Commish says: Survivor gods: “The f*** is this?” ... Commish: “You know I don’t editorialize. I just share.” ... Survivor gods: (Project pick comment onto Favre Rock in JaMarcus Town Square) ... Commish: *Gulp* ... Survivor gods: “The f*** is this.”
Definitely Not Concussed Award
@RotoJeff (Ravens, Cardinals - Second Chance): "Commish, you say that you love me, then you prescribe more Bud Light Lime? I'm late to the joke, I know, but there's no love with that. Meanwhile, *everyone* has the Bears left this week. The Bears are still coached by "let's play for blocking the chip shot field goal" John Fox. And the Browns are no longer going to be Kizer-ific. I have to find a way to get away from the herd somehow with my second pick after taking the Ravens in the first slot, right? But do I really want to entrust my Second Chance Pool existence with Mensa candidate Bruce Arians (top selling point - he's not John Fox!)? Or the Jets? Aaaaggh.... I'm guaranteed to change this pick 17 times this week."
Commish says: Hey Jeff, how about you think about the joke more and get back to me? (Under-my-breath grumbling and BLL shot-taking.)
MORE PICK COMMENTS
@mbuzz93 (Bears, Cardinals - BFIG): "Week 16, I never would have thought I’d make it this far. Being from Chicago, The Bears have the fate of my Christmas happiness in their hands. Please for the love of Commish, please don’t pull an Eli, Eli. "
Commish says: Ladies and gentlemen, the Chicago Bears!
@footballnovice (Bears, Cardinals - BFIG): "Oh boy... "da Bears."... I can't believe I am forced into picking the "home" team !!! ARGHHHHH... I have seen too many folks I love end up believing in, and then, having their hopes dashed against the goal post when they chose da Bears... but that's where it is in Week 16. Oh well...if I am gonna be out this week I guess I may as well join the ranks of those Chicagoans who believed in the Cubs all those years... but wait, they FINALLY won! Hmmmm... hope lives?!"
Commish says: The Chicago Bears!!!! (Also, Chicago folks have had a TON of BFIG success. I think we could potentially have our third Chicago champ, in addition to myriad deep runs. What’s in the water out there?)
@dgsaites (Chiefs, Rams, Eagles - BRANDO): "Brando haiku pt 3 Packers not in show Lots of dumb teams seem to be $5k would help some "
Commish says: Hey for part 4 can you please have Brando guest write it? Please? I promise SZN Pick Comment Hall of Fame. And cookies. With BLL designs. You know, the kind Santa always loved.
@mcmccaleb (Chiefs, Panthers, Cowboys - BRANDO): "saving baltimore and new england scares me. I hate picking the Cowboys"
Commish says: You playayy. To WINNNNuh. THE GAIIIIIIM. *Sun Devils hook sign thing* (OK I think we're done here. Good luck, everyone!)