Friends who would take the touchback,

That's all of you, right? Like, not a single person here would bring the kickoff out of the endzone when down 29-27 to the 7-0 Rams with two minutes left in the game and Aaron Rodgers as your quarterback.

Right? Commish needs the type of moral support that only 16.5 BLLs can provide.

Had Ty Montgomery taken the touchback and Rodgers led the Packers to glory, our Week 8 BFIG winning percentage would have been gashed...

We'd have gone from 98.3% to 96.7%.

*GASP* [collective shuddering] [hiding behind life-sized Donovan McNabb's Mom Chunky Soup cutout]

This has been an unprecedented run. We've won 93% of our picks since Week 4. Commish doesn't know everything, but I DO know this will definitely not last...

WEEK 9 HEALTH CHECK: NOT A CARE IN THE SURVIVOR WORLD

• Damage done: In BFIG, we went from 460 to 452 after five picked teams lost. In Second Chance, we went from 3,804 to 3,593 after 14 picked teams lost.
• Could it have been worse? Not really. This was one of the most carefree survivor weeks in the 10 years we've been doing this. Our top seven picks won by an average of 12 points.
• Closest call: Bengals over the corpse of Jameis Winston. Winston threw four picks and the Bucs still nearly came back to win after Ryan Fitzpatrick was reinserted into the quarterback role.
• Easiest win: Bears over Jets. The Jets gained 207 yards, which is the pre-2015 equivalent of not making it over the 50-yard-line.
• Team SZN record: 2-0. The GM is rolling strong in Second Chance. Commish is... writing emails?

BRANDO! (THIRD CHANCE) STARTS IN WEEK 11

It's still survivor. Only thing different is the number of picks per week. It's 1 pick (Week 11), 2, 3, 3, 3, 3, 5 (Week 17). $5K to the champ. Everyone can play.

Commish just checked and apparently BRANDO Weeden is once again the Texans' backup. HE LIVES!!

Join the competition here, and let your friends know that they can get in both BRANDO! and our playoffs pick'em (called "HasselBracket") for 10 bucks. Send 'em your referral link: theSZN.com/r/*|USERNAME|*

HOUSEKEEPING

• Always confirm that you've clicked "submit picks" and seen the confirmation page showing who you picked. If you haven't seen the confirmation page, you haven't submitted your pick.
• BRANDO! (Third Chance) Survivor starts in Week 11. Everyone can play. Make sure you've joined.
• On your phone, the "Comps" (Competition) tab always has links to every competition page.
• On your computer, these links are in your homepage "Active Competitions" section. (The homepage is theSZN.com)
• Picks lock THURSDAY at 5:20pm PDT. Zero exceptions. You can always change your pick, so make a pick early.
• Commish and GM play in all SZN competitions, but we can't win any money. This isn't DraftKings amateur hour.
• The Green Bay Packers will win the Super Bowl
• Hi, Danica
• Fire Mike McCarthy
• Commish loves you

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