It's that time in the season when Commish gets to roll out the tried-and-true survival adages:

• Avoid divisional games.
• Records matter more than perception.
• Talking head-embraced reputations die hard. Records really matter more if we're talking about a Saints home game.
• Don't pick a road team if you don't have to.
• History matters for common opponents, even moreso if the matchup includes common coaches (see: avoid divisional games).
• The Browns win football games sometimes. (Perhaps the most oft-forgotten adage.)
• Don't trust the Eagles in big games.
• Have some Moxie.
• Don't anger the survival gods.

Easy game, right? So damn easy. Commish has correctly picked, like, a million title pool games over the years. (Looking... looking... yup. Six title pool wins in the past six seasons.)

Super easy game.

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BFIG HEALTH CHECK: CALL IT A "NORMAL" WEEK 2?

• Damage done: 3,481 started the week; 14 picked teams lost, knocking out 705 people; 2,776 of us are moving on to Week 3.
• Could it have been worse? Definitely. The Browns went super un-Brownsy and raced to a 20-0 lead over the Ravens - our second largest pick - within the game's first eight minutes. Then Cleveland went super Brownsy and didn't score the rest of the way. (That said, a crucial Terrelle Pryor taunting penalty was reaalllyyy questionable.)
• Closest call: Ravens over Browns. For a week in which 11 of 16 games were decided by one score or less, the fourth quarter was largely bereft of drama. Commish is super pleased with himself for using the word bereft.
• Easiest win: Cardinals over Bucs. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you: Bad Jameis!!! Can you have a "not that close" 40-7 game?
• Toughest loss: Titans over Lions. The Lions were on the winning side of this category last week. The Lions probably appear in this category three times as much as the next-most-cardiac-unfriendly team. Detroit nearly racked up 200 penalty yards in allowing a mostly flaccid Titans team to hang around and eventually score a 16-15 win. Congrats to everyone who had 6 and 5 in your Lions-Titans squares.
• Team SZN record: 1-0. The GM is still out, but Commish is on to Week 3 for the first time since 2013... when he lost in Week 3. Commish is bona fide. Commish is flush. Commish is Rodgers. Commish really hopes Rodgers can get back to being Rodgers.

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THE BEST IMAGES AND VIDEOS OF WEEK 2: DIGGING THE DIGGS DIG

Seahawks lineman Cassius Marsh (side note: One of the NFL's best football names) thought he had a crucial fourth quarter sack of Case Keenum. Instead he was flagged for a face mask and gave the week's best penalty reaction. (Even if he didn't grab the facemask, he still touched the quarterback's head. Auto-penalty.)

Sam Bradford, stunningly competent former bust No. 1 overall draft pick, threw this beauty to Stefon Diggs... who proceeded to do a digging themed touchdown dance.

If Kirk Cousins keeps this up, he may cement his place as the most maddeningly streakly quarterback in NFL history. This awful red zone interception went a long way toward determining the game's outcome (27-23 Cowboys).

This week's reminder that some dudes are REALLY fast comes courtesy of Tyreek Hill. It's also our weekly reminder that some completely unaffecting penalties can be super costly.

And one image perfectly captured everything Lions about their final-minute loss to the Titans, in which they committed 17 penalties and had three consecutive touchdowns called back due to flags:

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE DUDE WHO MAKES THE SZN POSSIBLE

Commish might get more pub, but this thing doesn't happen without The GM (Kyle). Happy birthday, man!

To honor this most special day, I wanted to share this most special video of you from 2010:

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LOOK AT THE COOL NEW FEATURES THEN MAKE YOUR PICK

You can now search for your friends and follow them. I'd highly, highly suggest doing this right now.

There's also a running feed of your latest takes on the homepage. Go crazy, folks. Go crazy.

Picks close THURSDAY at 5:20pm PST. I say it every week: You can always change your pick, so at least make a preliminary one early!

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YOUR BEST TAKES FROM THE PAST WEEK (SUBMIT ONE ATOP YOUR HOMEPAGE!)

Courtland Olson (colson): "Sam Bradford's baggy ass sleeves will eventually be the reason Minnesota doesn't reach the Super Bowl."

Kevin Osman (kosman101): "One 60-yard scoring drive would vault Cody Kessler straight to the #2 USC QB in the NFL. Typing that makes me sad."

Colin Ringwood (ColonRingworm): "Week 1 was the most ideal scenario. I got to sit around, comfortable with my pick and feeling no sense of danger (Texans over Bears), while my friend sat next to me the entire time, having a meltdown because he took the Chiefs over Chargers. The man was as close as possible to being eliminated in week 1 (how embarrassing). Maybe I'm a bad person for enjoying his mental suffering, but isn't that half the fun of survivor pools with friends?"

Commish says: First, that username. Second, the survival gods don't like it when you call someone's Week 1 exit embarrassing. They'll be angling to strike you down next year. Third, yes, you should absolutely enjoy your friend's suffering. Fourth, The SZN: More fun with friends!!! I'll be here all week.

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IF YOU WANT TO BE SMART ABOUT FOOTBALL AND/OR WASTE YOUR ENTIRE WORK DAY, READ THIS

FiveThirtyEight is Nate Silver's stats-centric site about sports and politics (and occasionally pop culture). The football stuff is really good. And this article is absolutely epic.

You could probably spend your entire work day today studying it. (Thanks, Commish!)

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HOUSEKEEPING

• Kyle and I play along with everyone, but of course we can't win any money. It's written into our official Terms of Service. We lol at basically every DraftKings article that comes out.
• Second Chance Pool starts in Week 5! Everyone who loses in BFIG weeks 1-4 is eligible to play. $6K to the winner.
• We'll be doing at least four 2-Week Survivor competitions throughout the NFL season. It's free with your membership!
• Ditto for an NFL playoffs competition and NBA survivor. We'll have a competitions schedule on the website soon.
• Your friends can get in at any time. Anyone who becomes a member today gets all the competitions listed just above, plus BFIG 2017. Basically, anything that starts in between the day you become a member, and one year from that date.
• DOUBLE CHECK YOUR PICK! Seriously, you don't want to be the person who thinks they're on Carolina but actually picked the Panthers' opponent. (It happens at least once every year.)
• The Green Bay Packers will win the Super Bowl.
• Commish loves you.

*****

That's all the mid-week partying I have for you this week. If you dig The SZN, forward this email to a few friends and be like, "Yo! YO!!!"

Now, go make your pick and leave a killer pick comment:

Yours in football,

The Commish