Friends in fútbol,

Pick your storyline, right?

The clash of goal-scoring titans (ENG-FRA)? The "wait he actually benched Ronaldo AND THEN HIS REPLACEMENT SCORED A HAT TRICK?!" saga for Portugal? The Moroccan Cinderella story?

When Messi's quest for his Cup isn't even on the top line, you know we're due for a killer quartefinal round at the World Cup.

 

QUARTERFINALS PICKS

• Pickles Pick'em
  • Summary | QF Standings
• Pelé Processional Bracket
  • Summary | Standings
• Old Man Buffon Survivor
  • Summary | QF Standings | Golden Spreadsheet
• Your group picks (get in a group with friends!)

 

Santos' decision to bench Ronaldo - one of the greatest soccer players ever, by any definition - MID WORLD CUP, has to be on the short list of biggest low-key boss moves of all time.

Commish knows we generally don't like Ronaldo (see: our comments lower in this email). Commish knows Ronaldo has been pouting A LOT lately.

But actually benching him?!

That's like benching LeBron in the NBA Finals or benching Tom Brady in the NFC Championship Game.

They're old, they're past their prime, younger guys can probably provide a spark... but you really went and did the thing?

And Ronaldo's replacement - who'd basically never started a game even half as big - scored three goals!

I want to drink Bud Light Limes with Fernando Santos. Does anyone know Santos? Has anyone ever seen a Bud Light Lime in Portugal? TELL ME HOW TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

Our SZN competition leaderboards will be HEAVILY impacted by two key games: Argentina-Netherlands today and England-France tomorrow.

You can make arguments for any of those four teams to not just win their quarterfinal matchup but win the whole thing. If you get both right - in the Pick'em and/or the Bracket - you're in excellent shape.

The other two games - Brazil-Croatia today and Portugal-Morocco tomorrow - pit two heavy favorites against two in-form underdogs. Most of us are on Brazil and Portgual. But if you picked an upset and it hits... HUGE leverage for you.

Keep scrolling for updates on how each competition's leaderboard looks, plus the best comment in SZN soccer history.

 

PICK STATS

 

Pickles Pick'em

• 14 of us went 8-for-8 in the Round of 16 - funny enough, that was three fewer than the number of us who started the Bracket 8-for-8 (see below)
• A whopping 206 of us are within 3 wins of the Overall lead. IT'S STILL ANYONE'S GAME
• In the Quarters, Brazil is once again our top pick, after being our top pick in both the Group Stage and the Round of 16
• We favor Brazil over Croatia 92% to 8%, Portugal over Morocco 79/21, France over England 66/34, and Argentina over Netherlands 60/40
• As Commish always says in our weekly NFL pick'em, anything closer than 66/34 should be considered a "toss-up" game. And it's CRUCIAL to win these toss-ups if you're going to win a pick'em title
• Two brilliant pickers - @comenayeaha and @ttking05 - sit atop the Overall leaderboard with 20 correct picks out of 24
• @comenayeaha was one of our Group Stage leaders at 13/16 and went 7/8 in the Round of 16; @ttking05 followed up 12/16 with a perfect 8/8
• In the Quarters, they are different on THREE picks. Damn. That is awesome and does not happen very often. So there will be some form of change at the top, including the possibility a new face ascends the throne (for now)
• @ttking05 has BRA, NET, FRA, POR; and @comenayeaha has BRA, ARG, ENG, and... Morocco!

 

Old Man Buffon Survivor

• 31 went into the Round of 16, and just 15 steely survivors emerged
• Now comes the most strategic pick of the entire damn competition
• Why? Because you MUST pick a team that wins in the Quarters and then loses in the Semis to have a shot at surviving all the way through the Final. It's the only way the math works.
• So let's look at which teams our 15 survivors had available entering the Quarters, per the Golden Spreadsheet...
• 14/15 had already used Netherlands, and 13/15 had used Argentina. Given Brazil (7/15) is also on that side of the bracket, most survivors are REALLY putting their eggs in the "predict the other side of the bracket flawlessly" bucket
• Speaking of the other side, 13/15 had used England, 8/15 France, 6/15 Portugal, and 3/15 Morocco - much more availability.
• But if England keeps winning... uh oh.
• NOW, who did our survivors actually pick in the Quarters?
• We're heavy on Portugal as our "they'll win their quarterfinal and then lose to the winner of ENG-FRA in the semis" pick
• Eight of the 15 - all but one of the people who COULD have used Portugal - took the no-Ronaldos
• Two took Brazil, leaving just six survivors with the tournament favorite still available
• We have one on Morocco (was their only team available!) and one on Croatia (see Awards section below)

 

Pelé Processional Bracket

• 17 of us went a perfect 8-0 in the Round of 16 and thus have 24 points atop the Bracket leaderboard
• Of those 17, seven have Morocco winning again in the quarters but exactly zero have Morocco winning in the semis
• Just ONE of the 17 has Croatia advancing past Brazil (and @BILLPON1 also has Croatia making the Final but losing to England)
• Champions picked by our 17 co-leaders: 7 on Brazil, 4 on Argentina, 2 on Portugal, 2 on France, 1 on Netherlands, and 1 on England
• But it's not just about these 17! You almost certainly will need to get both Finalists correct plus the champion in order to take home the Bracket title
• 124 of us went 7-1 in the Round of 16, 248 went 6-2, and 228 went 5-3 - all very much in the hunt
• If you went 4-4 like Commish (or worse), let's hope you picked a surprise final that actually happens
• Two of us DID pick Morocco to win it all, along with 8 on Netherlands and 11 on Croatia
• Reminder that clicking any username on the standings pages will show you their bracket. You can also type it in directly by replacing TheCommish with anyone's username in the URL

 

WEEKLY AWARDS

 

Maradona Moxie Award
Boldest pick WITH a comment. You can't win a SZN competition without a little Moxie!

@rstpaul (Survivor: CRO): "This is it. It all comes down to this pick. I made it here through sheer luck and this is the end of the line. One more match to leave it all out on the field...uhm pitch. Looking at the survivors left, the majority are here without using Brazil, France or Portugal. Out of those three, who is favored most to advance this round? Brazil. Who is the overall favorite? Brazil. The goal is to survive as long as possible, so you make the choice that lets you survive another day. Is Brazil going to win the world cup? More importantly, do my fellow survivors think Brazil is going to win the world cup and would they believe so strongly that they've been saving them for the end? The golden spreadsheet says only 8 of us are giving them that chance. But when you know you're going to die tomorrow, you live a little. Croatia."
Commish says: I definitely did not cry reading this comment. Nope. And I definitely did not hire a movie trailer voice guy to turn this into the blockbuster we didn't know we needed. SUMMER 2023. COMING TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU.

 

Insulting Zizou's Sister Award
The spiciest/wildest take.

@tjwrona25 (Survivor: POR): "Why? Because f*** Ronaldo."
Commish says: When Bizarro World Cup becomes actual World Cup. This comment, paired with a Portugal pick, actually makes sense! What time is it? Where are we? IS PIZZA TASTY?!?

 

MORE COMMENTS

@Noteldar (Pick'em: NET, BRA, ENG, POR): "I have both France and Argentina lose their games. (boldest pick)
If this isn't bold, its at least italic. (funniest comment)
I'm confident though since Netherlands defense with VVD/Blind/Denzel is unbreakable and England's Kyle Lightning Walker will make Kylian Mbappe look like a turtle, not just a ninja turtle (most convincing)
Luckily for Kylian, Giroud is always there for a comforting and sexually inappropriate hug (spiciest take)
GIVE ME ALL THE AWARDS!"
Commish says: THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS, NOTELDAR. But this was good. Very good. I'm still not betting against Mbappe, though.

 

@HaveYouCheckedYourButthole (Pick'em: NET, BRA, ENG, POR): "Last time I saw someone look as dejected as Christiano did on the bench, it was @suckitspanos in his 20s after spending hours trying to pick up chicks in Pacific Beach, where for those that don't know, in PB you really only need a pulse for that. Perhaps if he was an actual man at the time and didn't ask the bartender if they had "Zima" or Dr Pepper for his rum, things may have fared better for him. Just like if Christiano would have taken his big baby diaper off and learned to play a different style, he might not have given Ramos the chance to rip a hat trick, only to solidify his ass on the bench. But alas, i digress, Messi going out this round, and Harry Kane's right foot is going to account for a Beret Trick."
Commish says: Have you called up Ronaldo's agent AND the musician/genius behind HYCYB, to ask if they want to form a new boy band with you and @suckitspanos? Where you only perform for small or non-existent crowds in PB? If not, what are you even doing with your life?

 

@phrankphurters (Pick'em: ARG, BRA, ENG, POR): "Are the stars aligning themselves for a potential Messi vs Ronaldo WC final? Will we see every Brazilian player crying their eyes out like a child if they don’t win even though they are just “passionate” and “having fun” dancing and celebrating after every goal? Or the worst possible outcome, will we have to endure the never ending monotony of “football’s coming home”? F’ it go Morocco!"
Commish says: This is like a pick comment Hedge of Happiness. You picked all the teams you seemingly DON'T want to win. So, either way you get to celebrate right? Good picks or preferred outcomes. GO MOROCCO.

 

@Tijani (Pick'em: ARG, BRA, ENG, POR): "One small upset"
Commish says: You sound lukewarm about this, like it wasn't that fun considering England an upset. Do you know what'd get you fired up? BIG UPSETS, TIJANI. Big upsets.

 

@Sooser21 (Pick'em: ARG, CRO, FRA, POR): "Zagreb be bumpin'!"
Commish says: This week's EASY candidate for "where I'd book a ticket to party for a night following a World Cup win": Croatia. Zagreb, Dubrovnik, ANYWHERE.

 

@Skinsfan03 (Pick'em: ARG, BRA, FRA, POR): "If I had a nickel for every time croatia snuck into a world cup quarterfinal I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice."
Commish says: If you told this story to a Croatian bartender, they'd probably give you a beer for those two nickles. If you told this story to a Philly bartender and then waited expectedly, you'd get escorted out of the bar.

 

@Camron (Pick'em: NET, BRA, FRA, POR): "DONT start Ronaldo pls"
Commish says: Commish says: We love Ronaldo here at The SZN!

 

@Cesarc47 (Pick'em: ARG, CRO, FRA, POR): "Christiano who??"
Commish says: SO MUCH LOVE for Ronaldo we even use alternate spellings!!!

 

@Alakhi (Pick'em: ARG, BRA, FRA, POR): "Allez Les Blues! Hat trick incoming for Mbappe!"
Commish says: If Mbappe gets a hat trick, given the torrid pace he's already set, he QUICKLY enters the discussion for "best World Cup performance ever"

 

@Rnidtowner (Pick'em: NET, BRA, ENG, POR): "my only shot here is to muster all the moxie i've got...even then tough to pick against Brazil..."
Commish says: The people of Morocco have a question for you, @Rnidtowner

 

@RotoJeff (Pick'em: ARG, BRA, FRA, MOR): "Does it really count going 7-1 last round when the "1" is the Washington Generals, er, Switzerland?"
Commish says: YES JEFF AND MOROCCO COUNTS FOR 2 (not really but sort of?)

 

@Peg (Pick'em: ARG, BRA, FRA, MOR): "I hope I win!"
Commish says: GLORY RIDE INTO THE MOROCCAN SUN

 

 

Yours in Golden Boots,
The Commish