Friends in fore,
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Friends in fore,
Sam Burns won this event last year. Sam Burns ALSO won this event in 2021. So we all picked Sam Burns, right?
What a silly question.
We set a new SZN high for golfers picked with 65, and we have 32 (THIRTY-TWO!) skin opportunities.
VALSPAR CHAMPIONSHIP PICKS
- YEYPO
- Big John
- Your group picks (get in a group with friends!)
Burns still garnered 19% of our picks, but that has to be among the lowest percentages for a reigning back-to-back event champion.
The reason? Burns' recent form: T35, CUT, CUT in his last three events.
Still, about a third of the way through Round 1, Burns was atop the leaderboard. When a guy loves a course, he loves a course.
Burns faltered on his second nine, but is still T12 and looking like a solid pick in a relatively weak field.
On top after Round 1? The law firm of Schenk, Brehm, and Jaeger.
Absolutely nothing about any of their recent forms suggested they could win this week.
They've been so meh (or plain bad in the case of Brehm) that, even when setting a record for most picked golfers this year, we didn't pick Brehm and Jaeger at all... and just two of us picked Schenk.
BURNS VS. THE LAW FIRM. NEXT, IN WRESTLEMANIA.
PICK STATS
YEYPO One-And-Done
- Burns (19%) and Fleetwood (15%) were the only two guys in the double digit percentages
- That is incredibly rare, and suggests VERY spread out picking
- Also, Justin Suh is our 5th biggest pick. Raise your hand if you had that on your preseason bingo card
- Given our very wide pick distribution, we got close to a 5/10 pick boldness score for the first time this year, but still fell short at 4.67
- Still, 4.67 is our "boldest" picking performance of the year.
- The top ranked guy in the field, JT, was just our 8th most picked guy. The second ranked guy, Matty FitzTestTubeGolfer, was just our 10th most picked guy
- Full skin opportunities (1 pick): Beau Hossler, Ben Martin, Carl Yuan, Chad Ramey, Charley Hoffman, Greyson Sigg, Harry Hall, Kevin Kisner, Kyle Westmoreland, Luke List, Mark Hubbard, MJ Daffue, Nate Lashley, Nick Taylor, Ryan Gerard, S.H. Kim, Troy Merritt, Webb Simpson, Will Gordon,
- Half skin oppos (2 picks): Adam Schenk, Dylan Frittelli, Dylan Wu, Eric Cole, Erik van Rooyen, Joseph Bramlett, Lucas Glover, Luke Donald, Taylor Moore, Trey Mullinax, Zach Johnson,
- That's a lot of skin oppos!
- 32 full or half skin oppos is the most this SZN (previous high: 29 at the Honda)
- Commish hasn't heard of a handful of those guys, and I literally make the pick schedule each week
Big John Survivor
- We're down to 254 pickers after a tough week at The Players
- Burns is a bigger bet here, at 29% of picks
- That continues a recent trend of us being heavier on the top guy in Survivor than we are in YEYPO
- It makes sense, conceptually - when the survivor numbers get low, people flee to safety as they see the title in their sight
- Alas, with 254 people, this could still go a LONG way. Commish wouldn't be surprised if we last 20+ weeks
- So don't get TOO safe out there, people
- Massive shout-out to our lone picker on Kramer Hickok, who would absolutely be surprised if we told him he was a Survivor pick this deep into the SZN
WEEKLY AWARDS
The 1-iron Moxie Award
Boldest pick. You can't win a SZN competition without a little Moxie!
@Mr_Rodgers_Neighborhood (Kyle Westmoreland, YEYPO): "Sounds like a rich golfer name, why not."
Commish says: This dude's family is so extra. Kyle Westland, Kyle Moreland, and Kyle Westmore ALL sound like rich golfers, too. But they had to go and make it Kyle Westmoreland?!
John Daly's Pants Award
Our best weekly comment (or three), because John Daly's pants always win
@hockey3430 (Sam Burns, YEYPO): "Let's be honest, this pick is insane. Bananas even. BUT do I want to be on the outside looking in on a 3-peat? Get outta town. Sammy Burns is the fun pick of the week and if you don't pick him, you hate fun. Far be it from me to avoid fun. I'm still processing missing the "party of the century" back in high school. This one guy's older sister who was in college helped get his hands on 42 Mike's Hard Lemonades, 11 Smirnoffs, and ~half a bottle of Mr. Boston vodka (plastic bottle, classy) and apparently, tons of hot chicks were there. Damn, party of the century. Anyways, I'm picking Sam Burns."
Commish says: This is definitely the first time in his life anyone has mentioned Sam Burns in the context of the party of the century. And while we're at it, your classmates are gonna be talking about that party at every class reunion and random holiday get-together for decades. Be prepared.
"Bryson Approves This Pick" Award
Most convincing comment (There's logic, and then there's Bryson-level logic)
@kbanaian (Webb Simpson, YEYPO): "Do you know how far down the page I had to go to find this guy? Cripes. Man is not yet 40, has won 7x, and is surrounded by something called a Higgo and a guy whose name is too close to shank. (You could look it up.) Valspar ends up with winners like Schwartzel, Casey (x2), Burns (x2, probably the only reason he's in the field), Senden and Streelman. (And some guy named Spieth, never heard of him.) Feels like a tournament meant for Webb to get Tour win #8."
Commish says: I believe a Higgo is that new particle they discovered in Switzerland by running atoms into each other almost as fast as Bryson swings a golf club.
Spieth's 89-degree Lob Wedge
The spiciest/wildest take (like Spieth's wild short game)
@rileytagtmeyer (Kramer Hickok, YEYPO): "When you google him the top recommended auto search is "Kramer Hickok wife". Turns out Kramer and I have the exact same number of PGA tour wins AND more importantly hot part-Finnish wives. Lock for a skin as long as nobody else googled him."
Commish says: AL GORE'S INTERNET, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
MORE COMMENTS
@RickJamesBitch (Justin Rose, YEYPO): "Picking roses after a second and first place finish in as many weeks. Why not take Justin Rose after a good start to the year. @suckitspanos is meanwhile picking his ass, and self proclaimed expert @haveyoucheckedyourbutthole are sitting sadly behind me. @haveyoucheckedyourbutthole took Rory a week late and is no longer a survivor. The shit talk and ridicule from these two is non-stop. If i was a betting man i would bet these two will be eating turds out of their buttholes when this is all over."
Commish says: So when does the golf podcast with the three of you start? This is a serious question.
@zachewing (Pierceson Coody, YEYPO): "We are in pick-a-skin territory. Dude’s name is Pierceson Coody. If that doesn’t get me a skin, nothing will."
Commish says: Would you believe EIGHT other people were like "Pierceson Coody? lol" and then smashed that submit pick button?
@jhctr (Pierceson Coody, YEYPO): "“Pierceson Coody! Get yer no-good golfin’ britches inside this trailer for supper right this minute!” — Pierceson Coody’s mom, probably"
Commish says: SMASHING THAT SUBMIT PICK BUTTON!
@Awuwert (Pierceson Coody, YEYPO): "Who are these f***ing guys???? Just bring me some hoops!!"
Commish says: SMASHED IT!!
@Ickey_Woods_Shuffle (Brian Harman, YEYPO): "There once was a golfer named Harman.
Who looks all the part of a Leprechaun.
The twinkle in his eye like a shiny button.
The well-trimmed hair is bushy brown.
Mistaken for a bloody Irishman he’ll always be.
Though from Savannah he’s come to tee.
May the luck of the Leprechaun with him be.
On St Patty’s Day for everyone to see.
The wee one will tee it up with PGA’s best.
He’ll hide a flask and stogie in his vinyl vest.
He’ll slay Puntacana in a serious course test.
Tiny Brian Harman will simply beat the rest!"
Commish says: Can you imagine Brian Harman reading this and being like "oh damn this is pretty fun" and then getting to the end and being like "WAS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO CALL ME TINY BRIAN HARMAN?"
@RotoJeff (Justin Suh, YEYPO): "Life's not easy for a boy named Suh"
Commish says: Do you think Justin has heard this joke a ton before or do 90% of current PGA Tour golfers not know a single Johnny Cash song?
@Jmoodz (Gary Woodland, YEYPO): "With a world rank of 111, y'all about to have add 900 and dial 911 when big Gar throws down the gauntlet. Absolute blood bath, Spieth and Burns lie in his wake. Gar slays this Sunday."
Commish says: THOSE ADD TO 1,011, MOODZ. But, wait, does dialing 1011 actually do something cooler than 911? Guess we'll find out when Gar wins.
@MONSTERXXX (Tommy Fleetwood, YEYPO): "I drove the Rham Truck into the ground , I tried to to conduct Justin Thomas the tank engine but i ran it off the tracks so now i got to old school on your Booties with a slow ride into Victory Lane with a light blue Cadillac Fleetwood with white walls Boooooooooooy ! You guys are in BIG Trouble this week !!WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH ! Probabaly not but WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH !!! Anyway..."
Commish says: I feel like we've reached 5/10 Monster unhinged-ness. CAN WE GET A 7? CAN WE GET A 10?!
@Alakhi (Matt Fitzpatrick, YEYPO): "Oh Fitzy, "Baby, baby, baby, oh" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, no" Like, "Baby, baby, baby, oh" I thought you'd always be mine, mine"
Commish says: Are you trying to seduce Matty Fitzpatrick, Test Tube Golfer, via Bieber pick comment? Actually, that might work.
@StatCzar (Tommy Fleetwood, YEYPO): "Last week I said I just want to do well enough to start talking trash to @Merf again. Commish promptly used this space to mock my comment and claim that I’d never accomplish that goal picking Patrick Cantlay. It was at that moment, I decided I wasn’t just coming to talk trash to Merf, but also coming for Commish’s money total as well. I’ll admit, it would have went better if I used Scheff than Mr. Goldman Sachs. But it could have been much worse, I could have been like Merf and the Commish and have selected Rory, last week, who was out there looking like Mr. SVB."
Commish says: THIS IS WAR.
@crimsoncoug (Adam Schenk, YEYPO): "I went to the witch doctor to cure what ails me... she said "I must say the word out loud 3 times and back the guy no one wants to hear on the course"! Cheers to Voodoo! "
Commish says: Now I know that this man has heard far too many bad jokes about his last name on the golf course.
@cmart1220 (Justin Suh, YEYPO): "Waahhh-Suh-pppp….terrible reference??…maybe..but this week is a terrible payout and strength of field so it seems fitting."
Commish says: Wow, what a banner week for dated pop culture references in Justin Suh pick comments
@Jevans4 (Sam Burns, Survivor): "Sammy boy should at the very least make the cut. Sad if he doesn’t. Not much going for him this year but he is one of few bulls in a field of calves. Easy pick for this pool."
Commish says: Pierceson Coody is gonna read this and show up to the course tomorrow wearing stunna shades and a "CALF" tshirt.
@Dsaranow (Akshay Bhatia, YEYPO): "Why the f*** not?"
Commish says: And Akshay Bhatia will show up WITH Pierceson Coody, wearing a "Why the f*** not?" tshirt.
@Henpen77 (Adam Hadwin, YEYPO): "I’m sure to HadLOSE this week?"
Commish says: The SZN: Where there's no last name we can't make a bad pun about.
@YikesVikes (Justin Suh, YEYPO): "I picked a Justin last week and he failed me so I might as well keep the streak going and pick a Justin this week. It could be be a Suh in!"
Commish says: BAD PUN POTENTIAL IS LIMITLESS!
@kempsoos (Jordan Spieth, YEYPO): "We have the first day in the 40s coming up on the forecast in Minnesota, I can now officially be excited for golf! Might as well be the "FORE!"-cast"
Commish says: LIMITLESS!!!
Yours in metal stick swinging,
The Commish