Friends in football,

The 2023 Bears season is an SNL skit.

SCENE: Coach sits alone at bar, agonizing over why his massively complex playbook is producing awful results. Goes to bathroom. Comes back, and a cocktail napkin sits on top of the playbook cover.

In Comic Sans-like font, it reads, "THROW IT DEEP TO DJ. EVERY TIME."

Coach sits deep in thought. The epiphany starts washing over him. He looks around the bar for the source of his inspiration but the bar is empty. He looks to the sky as tears of elation start streaming down his face.

The bartender walks over. "Now win the f***ing game, Coach."

DJ Moore: 230 yards and 3 TDs on 8 catches. Had a legit 4th TD called back by a phantom out-of-bounds call.

Bears 40, Commanders 20. Our biggest loss of the week.

PICKING & RESULTS LINKS

The BIG Survivor (BFIG) results

• Survival record: 3,619-590
• Worst loss: Commanders (7%) to Bears
• Best Squad(s): Still 100+ squads with 3+ survivors (and thus the max score of 15 wins)

Survivor #2 results

• Survival record: 6,736-3,006
• Worst loss: Commanders (14%) to Bears
• Best Squad(s): 357 squads opened their Survivor #2 campaign with a perfect score of 3 wins

Weekly Pick'em (WeeWoo) results

• Weekly winner(s): Commish has no idea how @jessji88 went 13-1 in a very tough week, but they did. Solo winner!
• Best Squad(s): Another week, another new leader. "DFS Sweatshop" ascends the throne for the first time at 161 wins, two up on "Bearded Clams" and "Ickey Woods All Stars"
• Overall leader(s): @Lucky5er is our new leader at 58-19, on the strength of 10 wins last week (well above average)

QB One-and-Done results

• Top passer: Sam Howell (388 yards; 251 picks)
• Weekly average: 282 yards per pick (+31 over the average QB performance)
• Best Squad(s): "Blindfolded Dart Throwers" is back on top, with their top 3 posting 5,151 total yards so far
• Overall leader(s): @Russuch is at 1,984 yards, having posted 360+ in four of five weeks so far.

Loser Survivor Brought to You by The OddsBreakers results

• Survival record: 866-349
• Worst win: Jags (17%) beat Bills
• Best Squad(s): Down to 27 squads with at least 3 survivors (and thus 15 wins)

"All 32" One-and-Done results

• W/L record: 3,419-1,773
• Overall leader(s): We went from 817 undefeateds to just 383 after our first two-pick week. I firmly believe we'll be at 0 by Thanksgiving or so. 
• Best Squad(s): Just FOUR squads have a perfect score (18 wins). 12 more are one win back

COMMISH COMMENTARY

The Commanders loss to the Bears is exactly the type of loss a certain type of Survivor player points to and says "SEE?! Don't take that risk."

Commish obviously disagrees, but I WILL say that there are two different ways to play Survivor, and both are legitimate.

Strategy 1: Maximize fun-having - and likelihood to win at least some money - by picking the "safest" bets every week and sticking around as long as possible, even if you're torpedoing your shot at winning it all.

Strategy 2: Maximize odds of winning it all by taking calculated risks, even if it means you go down in an early week because you took a bigger risk.

While Strategy 1 won't win you the Title Belt (because you'll get to Week 10 and be like "oh shit, I have no good teams left"), it will no doubt be a fun time. And you can still hang on to the hope that you can become upset-picking Nostradamus in the later weeks and claim the title.

Commish is never gonna decry you for having fun. That's what The SZN is all about.

Fun was picking the Lions or the Dolphins and watching them roll to an easy win. BUD LIGHT LIMES FOR EVERYBODY!

But that doesn't make the Commanders (who were 2-2, playing the 0-4 Bears) a bad pick. It was a calculated risk. And it didn't work out.

Commish still loves you, and you can STILL DRINK BUD LIGHT LIME even if your survivor pick loses.

Yours in football,
The Commish