Friends in fastballs,

We're doing these MLB Updates monthly. And what a wild first month it was.

IN THIS POST:

• What you need to know for June
• What happened in our pools in May
• Stats and trends
• May's best comments

What you need to know for June:

• Survivor #2 starts June 20th. It's ALSO double elim.
• Friends can still join our "Mid-SZN MLB Bundle". Every referral counts, so let
• the people know!
• Pick'em Interval 2 starts NOW (Weeks 5-8).
• We update pool results each night during the weekend series, and Wins Battle each month.

NOW, what did we learn in our first month?

The Guardians have been one of the best teams in all of baseball. They've moneyballed their way to one of the lowest payrolls in baseball, and Jose Ramirez is on a quest to win them them their first World Series since 1948.

And yet, their first act in our Survivor was to punish us for believing they're good. 100 pickers got a not-so-metaphorical slap in the face. But this is why DOUBLE ELIMINATION SAVES LIVES! Well, at least for one more week.

We were so shaken that NO ONE in the pool took CLE in Week 2. I'm going to ignore that they were also playing the beautiful Twins, you can't stop my narrative!

Onward!

RESULTS THROUGH WEEK 4

SURVIVOR #1

• Damage done: 155 down. Week 1 was brutal (150 lost on CLE and TEX alone), but Week 3 is where the the damage happened (89 lost on ARI and 33 on PHI). Top picks losing two out of four weeks isn't good for anyone.
• 356 --> 329 --> 218 --> 201 survivors still going. 66 have no losses, and 134 have 1 loss.
• Best Squad: There are 12 Squads with 12 wins. That's a big pileup, but we're still early on. 

WEEKLY PICK'EM

• Aggregate winning % so far: 58.6%. If we were a team, we'd be right between an ATL and a KC. Can I borrow a mitt real quick?
• Best week in May: @chapmattman and @WARDOG23 at 15-0. All the strife I mentioned in Survivor? Not happening over here in Pick'em land, we've got people batting 1.000. We've only had 3 perfect weeks before, and now we've added 2 more.
• Overall Leader: @DOCTORDER. The Doc hasn't gone perfect (yet!), but averaging a hair under 11/15 right each week is gonna take you far! 
• Interval 1 CHAMP: @DOCTORDER. When you've only played the first interval, they happen to be your Overall leader too. But this year the top 3 cash in any interval, so @bowser48, @bwitsberger, @BrandName, @Gammon88, @lciavarella, @le6rand all get some shine thanks to ties! 
• Best Squad: MLB Moxie Marauders (119 wins). They've got a narrow lead, with literally a dozen Squads within 5 wins. 

"ALL 30" ONE-AND-DONE

• W/L record: 810-398.
• Club that's killed us: Diamondbacks. Cleveland at least had the good sense to win some games for us. ARI has only served up 4 wins on 86 picks so far.
• Overall leader: 53-person pileup at 4-0. Perfection lasted well over 10 weeks in both NFL and NBA, can we keep that performance up? 
• Best Squad: There are 9 Squads tied with 12 wins. Another tale of "time will make fools of us all." 

WINS BATTLE

• Best record so far: @jwpaugh79 at 15-0. This is "as if the season ended today", so it's a projection. There's still about 100 games to go, so we could waffle and flip flop a lot over the SZN. 
• Most picked club: Brewers (264 picks). We went heavy on them (86.8%) over DET, and so far we look smart. Only one matchup has a bigger win differential so far (BAL over TEX). 
• Closest matchup: Mets (164 picks) vs. Reds (140 picks). Again, our crowd is wise - They're within 1 game of each other.
• Best Squad: MLB Moxie Marauders (41 wins). Being good at Pick'em is apparently correlated with being good at Wins Battle - That tracks!

STATS & TRENDS

Last year's World Series teams are STANKING it up for us.

Arizona has posted a 0%, 5%, and 4% win rate when picked in Survivor 1, All 30, and Pick'em respectively.

The Rangers are MILDLY better, with 3%, 26%, and 27%. When was the last time a 27% win rate felt impressive?

These guys were fighting for the pennant 6 months ago? You sure? Did they get collective baseball amnesia in a BLL-related kegstand-astrophe?

We aren't touching the White Sox with a ten foot pole.

Not a single Survivor pick. Am I surprised? Absolutely not. But MIA, OAK, and WAS have all been picked at least once so far. And WAS even won!

Shout out to the two people who picked the White Sox in All 30 - One of you even got a W out of it - that's MOXIE.

The Giants have a mediocre record at 29-32 (47.5%). But we've been right 90% of the time we've taken them in our Weekly Pick'em.

They won in Weeks 1, 2, and 3. That means we won 587 of the 655 times we picked them so far. Week 4 was the first time they let us down.

MAY'S BEST RECENT COMMENTS

WEEK 1

@mheagerty (Rangers): "1st pick ever!!!"
Commish says: Welcome to the best damn sports community on the planet!!

@jrcondon (Cubs, S1): "Division series? check On the road? check. @ least I'm guaranteed to make it to week 2!"
Commish says: What... what... what are we doing?!

@Jmkahn (Guardians, S1): "Did you deliberately pick this week for opening week because the absurd amount of divisional matchups? Like why wouldn't I pick Guardians v White Sox? Jose Ramirez is on fire, and I haven't heard a peep out of Adam Dunn and Frank Thomas in years. I know the sox have that up and comer Tatis jr. in their minors, but I'll take my chances."
Commish says: Have y'all been paying so little attention to baseball that you didn't realize I AM NOW MLB COMMISH, TOO

@hikee44 (Guardians, S1): "Overthinking at it's finest: The White Sox are garbage and I don't think Cleveland can sustain this level of play all season, so it might be a good time to pick them BUT I am weary of a 4-game set on the South Side (I don't want to rely on run differential in the event of a split). I also want to steer clear of divisional series' (As v Ms, LAD v Pads, etc...) and Boston has a losing record at home (and the Nats have a winning record on the road) so... Let's Go Cleve-land, clap, clap, clap-clap-clap!"
Commish says: But he's weary. HE'S WEARY!

@AU_Dave (Phillies, S1): "Is it possible that one of the worst teams in baseball - the Marlins, can trade their best player and follow that up with a series win against the team with the best record in baseball? Oh wait, no comment theme or question to answer? I fear the baseball gods will be angered and punish us with wins by the White Sox, the Rockies, the Stinkin Mets, and yes, even the Araezl-less Fish of Miami!"
Commish says: Why do you ask these questions, Dave? Are you TRYING to awaken the Survivor Gods this early in the SZN? You know the Survivor Gods only have one pastime right? (Destroying our hopes and dreams, mercilessly.)

@Mr_Darwin (Orioles, S1): "I'm back baby to protect my👑!!"
Commish says: Prove it wasn't a fluke Mr D!

@YikesVikes (Brewers, S1): "I've never made it past week one in MLB survivor, this year I will because I need two loses to be out, @TheCommish, I think it should be 3 strikes and your out, this is MLB isn't it? "
Commish says: lol one of the best "I SURVIVED WEEK 1" comments in SZN history. (But no, we're not moving to triple elimination, Yikes!)

@Shaggybrak (Rays, S1): "Awww yeah. I’ve been on the toilet since last year wondering what to do with this extra time - my legs are asleep an an odd shade of deep purple. But I HAVE PURPOSE again!!!"
Commish says: ARE YOU STILL EMPLOYED AT THE SAME PLACE SHAGGY

@StatCzar (MLB Pick'em): "I’m back and here to run back my pick’em crown! I welcome all challenges but want all to know they’re futile. These picks are ants and I’ve got a sledgehammer!"
Commish says: You of all people should know how the Survivor Gods operate. They care about more than Survivor, and they hate hubris more than anything. You're finishing last place this year, StatCzar.

@Ziqness (CHC, All 30): "*sips BLL aggressively* less comment more question. What happens on a split series (also in survivor) *burp*"
Commish says: In case you haven't checked the rules yet - Split series have tiebreakers, usually easily handled by the first one: run differential in the series.

@jrcondon (Wins Battle): "The Rockies plus the White Sox win total will be lower than The Braves win total (by themselves) and the LAD win total (by themselves)...and possibly the Phillies, too, if they can beat teams above .500 at the same clip they've started the season (only have played 2 series vs teams above .500 to start season)."
Commish says: You're tied for 2nd place in the Wins Battle at the end of May, so I'm just going to assume all predictions here come true.

WEEK 2

@Ziqness (Rockies): "wow taking an L on week one by using the defending Champs against an 8 wins Rockies team that probably wont win a series the rest of Spring *pours BLL menacingly into CamelBak* "
Commish says: You better sip quick, that electric lime will melt your camelback in no time

@Jmkahn (Yankees, S1): "Now there is just NO WAY the white sox can competently hit above their weight class two weekends in a row. Even though I have just a shocking record betting against the sox; even worse than my infamous Chargers record that scatter the annals of Szn history. So you know, go yankees."
Commish says: Keep smearing your skill across our record books, it's a testament to you bravery

@YikesVikes (Yankees, S1): "New York New York, Just part of being the new guy back in the day, a rite of passage for the latest big leaguer getting promoted. Schallock got the call in 1951, replacing future Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle when the New York Yankees optioned the then-19-year-old to Triple-A. Schallock, then 27, roomed with Berra and was tasked with picking up Berra’s daily delivery of “funnies” as they called them. Whether at home or on the road, Art Schallock would begin each day by taking the elevator down to the lobby and collecting the latest comic books for roommate Yogi Berra. As Berra would say it ain't funny unless it's funny!😆It may not be funny but it will be fun, Yankees beat the White Sox, at least fun for me and in honor of Schallock. "
Commish says: Can you imagine Yogi narrating your life for you? "Commish put his pants on, that's a good place to keep'em"

@Shaggybrak (Phillies, S1): "So… funny thing about Michael and my old job. I can try to pick up where I left off last season: Michael knows nothing about baseball sports games, not that that’s a hinderance in picking winners, and he is also a wiggle-kneed ninny with no less than 3 bottles of lavender scented hand sanitizer in his desk at all times. It all seems like some nightmare I’ve been repressing. Well, Michael got a promotion and took his seat cushions with him to his cozy new, with a window, desk up to the 2nd floor. You’d think I’d be happier now. Well, Michael’s promotion came complete with an ability to use spyware on his subordinates: ME! And apparently he’s not a fan of all the TRUTH I’ve been putting on this here-ol-website and now I’m a work-from-home 1099 employee, making doll clowns for some outfit in a country I can’t pronounce. It’s okay I guess. Just like the Phillies are okay I guess. "
Commish says: The truth hurts, Michael. Or maybe, the truth hurts Michael?

@fozlofski (Royals, S1): "WHAT THE FUCK"
Commish says: The truest reaction to your pick losing in Week 1. Double elimination to the rescue!

@Jmkahn (NYY, All 30): "Doubling up on the Yankees this week. Like doubling up on my Taco Bell order, I'm just asking to be hurt later."
Commish says: Spoken like a man with experience

@hikee44 (OAK, All 30): "0-2 is good, right?"
Commish says: GM has joked about a prize for worst score, as long as you make all your picks. The Anti-Picker Prize.

WEEK 3

@hikee44 (Phillies, S1): "Too early for more moxie..."
Commish says: BLASPHEMY

@Jts5522 (Mets, S1): "He’s the best in the game so we really can’t poke fun at Ronald Acuna but if he keeps adding more colors to his uniform, possibly some face paint and BAM…Ronald McDonald…"
Commish says: Poor guy, he's got plenty of time to practice his balloon animals now

@Jmkahn (MLB Pick'em): "Locomotive Breath by Jethro Tull, but only the flute solo."
Commish says: *Ron Burgundy going absolutely nuts on the flute*

@CoachGib9 (MLB Pick'em): "Road warriors this week? Really??"
Commish says: If you don't pick all road teams, are you even being Moxie-ful?

WEEK 4

@Drwahi21 (MLB Pick'em): "Picked all the home teams… this is like when we were younger and dreamed of just putting A down for every answer on the test… I got to live that dream right now…"
Commish says: After I marked 3 answers the same in a row I'd break into a nervous sweat. We're different people, Dr.

@AU_Dave (MLB Pick'em): "Baseball is hard. Making sense of baseball is harder! The two teams from last year's World Series are a combined 52 & 59. Jeremiah Estrada was released by the Cubs in the offseason because, well - he just wasn't good. The Padres claimed him off waivers and he just set an MLB record for most strikeouts in a row - 13. His ERA is 0.55. The 22 - 32 Mets have the highest payroll in MLB (again). The 34 - 19 Orioles have the 4th lowest. The Phillies just lost a series to the Rockies. The Marlins were 9 - 26 when they traded their best player. They are 11 - 11 since. I love this game! "
Commish says: You're thinking too hard. Throw ball fast. Hit ball hard. Win game. Simple!

@AdamAnt (KC, All 30): "Brett is making a comeback for KC!"
Commish says: Standing at (formerly) 6 feet tall, 71 year olds, it's George Brett!

 

Yours in stealing home,
The Commish