Steely Stafford and Sons Survivalists,

Yesterday, Commish was trapped in his own existential football hell - an interminable flight delay with a gaggle of Seattle Seahawks fans - and they're constant chirping got me thinking, does anyone ever proudly say to a group of strangers, "How 'bout them Lions?"

For real. Think about it. That'd be strange, right? I can't really peg why, but it'd definitely be strange. I can even see Browns fans whooping it up. But not Lions fans. (Detroit friends, post a take on our homepage to tell me I'm wrong.)

And yet, we've made the Detroit Lions the heaviest BFIG pick of the year - 60 percent of title pool picks and a staggering 81% usage rate, with 162 of the 199 people who had the Lions available picking them.

The Lions are 8-4, they're hosting the 3-9 Chicago Bears, they're in first place and they possess The Power of Jim Bob. Yet, this still has the feeling of a necessity pick.

For a huge swath of those still racing for BFIG's title belt, Detroit is, by Vegas' standards, clearly the best option available. And Commish has enjoyed the Motor City Kitties' renaissance as much as anyone this year. But, say what you will about the Bears, they ARE a divisional opponent, and they DO typically play the Lions tough.

Plus - and I don't think I need to remind Lions backers of this - Detroit has trailed in the fourth quarter in 11 of their 12 games. (The sole exception was last week's upset of the Saints.)

Will the Lions win? Probably. But, look, it's Week 14 and Commish is running out of ways to convince you that survivor picks don't always win. LET ME HAVE THIS ONE. Also, Matt Barkley just might be ascending to "replacement-level quarterback" right before our eyes. SO THERE'S THAT. FEAR. GO PACK GO. FOOTBALL.

Week 14 picks:

• Title pool
• Second Chance pool
• Two-Week Survivor
• Commish & BigDaddy's weekly predictions

WEEK 14 FAST FACTS

• Detroit's 60 percent pick volume put it ahead of Arizona (56 percent, Week 10) and Miami (53 percent, Week 3).
• It's our third majority pick this year. Historically, BFIG majority picks have won 87 percent of the time.
• For all you newbies, there are two games forever immortalized as the most damaging losses in BFIG history. In Week 10, 2013, the 0-8 Jacksonville Jaguars - arguably the worst first-half team in NFL history - rose up and beat the Tennessee Titans on the road. The Thurlow Game (Ryan Thurlow picked the Jaguars; yes, yes he did) knocked out 79 percent of the remaining title pool. That was slightly more catastrophic than The Eli Evisceration, which saw 78 percent of the pool go out in Week 5, 2010 when the Giants lost at home to the Seahawks. 46 of 59 survivors went down that day, to give you an idea of how far BFIG has come.
• Atlanta has 19 percent of our picks, followed by the Colts (12 percent) and the Vikings (5 percent).
• Our top three picks (Detroit, Atlanta, Indy) have collectively been among our top three weekly picks just twice up to this point. In Week 2, the Lions (11 percent) lost to the Titans. In Week 7, the Falcons (19%) lost to the Chargers. OoooooOoOoOohhhhh.
• That last stat doesn't really mean anything. But it's fun. Commish likes fun.
• Five of the 25 people who still have the Pats picked them this week. If Detroit goes down, geniuses they are.
• This is the second straight week that the Bucs and Niners each have exactly one pick. This stat also means nothing. But it's super improbable... and questionably fun.
• THE BROWNS HAVE ZERO PICKS. But (but!) they did merit three picks in Two-Week Survivor. (Survival) God bless your football hearts, @James_Hunter, @Jbanks, and @mdirish21.

Commish Communication Award

Sometimes, succinct is best. From @umichigan (Lions):

"I can't believe I'm risking the potential of tens of thousands of dollars on the Detroit Lions."

"I Could Sell You Bengals Tickets" Award

It's come to my attention some of you don't know what this award means. Let's change that. The "I Could Sell You Bengals Tickets" Award goes to the person who best explains the logic behind their pick. It's like, "Oh, yeah, I believe that dude," or "That woman knows her shit" - the type of people who could convince you to buy their Bengals tickets. While Cincinnati was challenging the foundation of this award for several years, they're right back at it this season. People have also been slacking a bit on Bengals Award submissions. PICK IT UP, EVERYONE. This week's award goes to the person who prompted the explanation above - @lgjendem (Vikings & Falcons - Second Chance):

"Some fun facts to start your weekend: In the Philippines, the yoyo was used as a weapon for over 400 hundred years. Their version was large with sharp edges and studs and attached to thick twenty-foot ropes for flinging at enemies or prey. Sam Bradford is 1/16th Cherokee and is listed as an official citizen on the Cherokee Nation tribe's rolls. Soldier ants use their heads to plug the entrances to their nests and keep intruders from gaining access. And I still have no idea what the "I could sell you Bengals tickets award" is all about, and at this point I'm afraid to ask ... I have turned a new leaf (only the 6th, maybe 7th time this season) and have developed a new strategy for my picks. Since I am within 100 survivors of the second chance pool, I now shift my views on away games and am trying to just pick the strongest teams I believe I have left. I know you're probably asking yourself how that is any different from previous weeks, and unluckily for you I will explain it all in detail (click away now if you get weirded out when you grandpa just starts rambling, I am going to sound very similar). I will now pick what I believe are the most lopsided games of the week rather than saving those teams for the future. For example: If I was using last weeks strategy I would pick the redskins and the colts (who I believe will win their match-ups), thus saving my Atlanta and Minnesota pick for a future selection. But now its do or die, win or lose, Ryan or Goff, and I choose to pick what I believe to be the strongest score discrepancies in the week. Go Vi-cons go!"

Definitely Not Concussed Award

Brock Osweiler takes have received at least three "Definitely Not Concussed" Awards. You see, there's just no ceiling to how much we can learn about Brockweiler's badness. This stat, courtesy of @davidrkimber (Colts), is mind-boggling:

"It seems like each week gets tougher and tougher. I'm left picking an average team playing another average team in the same division. Not a good choice for survival most of the time. I am comforted by the fact that Brock Osweiler has not led 3 TD scoring drives in a single game for the entire season (which is quite remarkable)."

THIS WEEK AT THE NORWOODS'

@crashfu14 (Colts & Falcons - Second Chance): "Is there anything more terrifying, yet strangely alluring than Wal-Mart during the holidays? Rampant unchecked consumerism meets the great American unwashed. The Boy Scouts should promote an unconventional merit badge for Wal-Mart survivalist skills. One part wrestling moves, two parts Jeggings, and a sprinkle of Madonna twerking with Ariana Grande. (Major league EWW, you've been warned). Some things you just can't unsee."

Rob Norwood's title pool quest ended in Week 8, after he picked against Jay Cutler with a comment that included "Deadpool" and "farting rainbows." Never pick against Jay Cutler: LEADER with a comment referencing Deadpool and farting rainbows.

MORE PICK COMMENTS

@collinmurph22 (Falcons - BFIG Survivor Pool): "Jeff Fisher just got extended. I'm expecting an enthusiastic performance from the players in support of him."

Commish says: (Pours out a Bud Light Lime 40 for the Los Angeles Rams players.) What's that? Yeah, of course BLL makes 40s.

@kyezrsoze (Vikings - BFIG Survivor Pool): "Hopefully we get at least 139 of the available Detroit picks on the Lions. Yeah, it's the Bears and Matt Barkley, but there's always a 2010 Cleveland's chance in Foxboro that Chicago can pull this out. CHAOS!!!!"

Commish says: I love this. "A 2010 Cleveland's Chance in Foxboro" ... a CLECHOX ... a CLECHORO ... a BROWNCEBORO!!!

@Jmkahn (Lions - BFIG Survivor Pool): "I learned a thing this week. Lake Michigan and Lake Huron, commonly known as two separate Great Lakes, are, in fact, one in the same. Without modern satellites, our American pioneers mistakenly labeled them as two distinct bodies of water due to the always reliable eye test. Remember kiddies, pioneers did not have IPhones to view while on the toilet. Furthermore, Huron and Michigan are interconnected through the Mackinac Straight. In simpler terms, there is a clear river-esque body of water that unites these two large bodies of water in holy matrimony. Together, Huron and Michigan make up a body of water larger than Lake Superior, the current title belt holder of largest Great Lake. But wait, Jared, why do I care about a lake that holds a time-share with Canada? Well, you imbecile, geography is cool. Also, Detroit and Chicago both sit on Lake Michigan-Huron. According to the perfectly-thrown-sprial of knowledge I just threw at you, that makes this lake the largest lake in the Western Hemisphere. Which also means, the winner of this Detroit-Chicago game will hold the title of best team on a body of fresh water this side of the Prime Meridian. Now that's something to brag about around the holiday dinner table to your cousins that lives on Lake Ontario. Take that Jake and Olivia. So, anyway, I'm picking Detroit."

Commish says: Given the political disparity between these two Great Lakes-sitting states, I almost made a political joke. Then I too sooned myself. LET THE BEST LAKE BORDERER WIN.

@Cjwalk (Lions - BFIG Survivor Pool): "I can't believe I'm confidently picking Detroit in a late season game. When the season started, I thought to myself that there'll be no way that I would take the Lions but I also thought I would be successful and have a wife and kids by now. So basically, I know nothing... does that mean I'm Jon Snow??? No. I'm just a lucky idiot."

Commish says: Let's talk expectation setting, man. Do you think Matt Stafford walked into the locker room, first day of training camp, and said, "WE'RE ALL GONNA BE SUCCESSFUL AND HAVE WIVES AND KIDS BY THE TIME THIS SEASON IS OVER"? Absolutely not. He let Jim Bob Cooter say it.

@codem0n (Lions - BFIG Survivor Pool): "Well, so far the Lions... forced the greatest running back of all time, Barry Sanders, into early retirement, killed half-man half-robot Calvin "Megatron" Johnson faster than Josh Duhamel and Shia Lebouf could in the movie, have the 4th longest championship drought in all of pro sports, have only not trailed in the fourth quarter once this season, and have a QB named Fat Matt. The Detroit F***ing Lions. Jesus what has my life come to? HOW-EVAH!! They are playing the putrid Chicago Bears and are 8 point favorites. This weekend I plan on only hearing three hits: Barkley hitting the turf, Fat Matt hitting the endzone, and Detroit's most famous fan, Kid Rock's, "Bawitdaba" playing on repeat all day Sunday while we ride ON TO WEEK 15!!!"

Commish says: If you win the Title Belt, promise me you'll film a video set to "Bawitdaba," dollar bills raining from the sky, with your friends pouring copious amounts of BLL all over you? Promise?

@TheLargeTuna (Lions - BFIG Survivor Pool): "Last week I avoided the Sunday night game because of the Westworld finale. I regret nothing. I was able to save Seattle for a later pick, assuming I survive this week, and I was able to use the Broncos, who I doubt I would have had any confidence taking in any of the remaining weeks. We are starting to get to that point where the pickings are slim. I am really torn between taking the Browns and looking like some sort of genius when they win their first game against a depleted Bengals team, or taking the Lions, who are the team that has to be the most likely to win this week. While I like the idea of having a bold pick and hoping that the Bears pull off some sort of miracle to knock out the bulk of the remaining pickers, I think Detroit has enough fire power to beat the Bears at home."

Commish says: How close were you to picking the Browns, Tuna? 10 percent? Five percent? One percent? This is important. Please get back to me.

@keliansuaya (Falcons - BFIG Survivor Pool): "Matty ice brah Matty ice."

Commish says: Yeah brah yeah brah yeah.

@RayceDJ (Colts - BFIG Survivor Pool): "Boom?"

Commish says: BLAMMO BAM BAM.

Good luck, everyone!

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