Brothers and Sisters in the Eternal Pantheon of Favreian Glory and Honor,
Never had we gone this deep into the playoffs (except in 2015). Never had the ultimate margin of Title Belt victory been so narrow (except in 2015). And never had a Packers-Cowboys playoff game carried such BFIG ... historical football ... existential human meaning... except in 2015.
BFIG 2014 ended in January 2015's Divisional Round because this happened:
And BFIG 2016 ended in January 2017's Divisional Round because this happened:
Packers-Cowboys occupies a lofty spot in the NFL's history books, but it might already be an even bigger part of BFIG's history books.
Dez's catch that wasn't technically a catch led to a Packers win and @davidmmikulka wearing 2014 BFIG's Title Belt. Jared Cook's catch (or perhaps "Aaron Rodgers' throw") led to another Packers win and @nbossert taking home 2016 BFIG's Belt.
Commish has a recap. Commish has words from our champ and runner-up. Commish has the season's best pick comment. COMMISH HAS LOVE BECAUSE SO MUCH LOVE.
OUR FINAL TWO COMBATANTS COULD HAVE WON $2.54 MILLION BY DOING THIS
@nbossert and @jmanfield won 38 games in a row before finally going down by picking against the Packers. (Is that fitting? HAS COMMISH TAUGHT YOU NOTHING?!)
But seriously, 38 straight wins. Can someone calculate how much these guys would have won if they took $50, moneyline bet it on their picks, and let it ride with each and every win? Has to be like two Albert Haynesworths and a Matt Flynn, right?
JK COMMISH WENT AND DID IT. If you assume an average moneyline of +300 (bet $300 to win $100), which equates to a ~7-point favorite, then starting with $50 and letting it ride through 38 straight wins would net you... $2.54 million.
Yup. But can you imagine letting $500K ride on Connor Cook vs. Brockweiler? Lol.
HERE WAS HOW THE PICKOFF WENT DOWN, ALONG WITH WORDS FROM OUR FINAL TWO
With so much on the line, you can't blame them for picking the favorites. But when you combined the likelihood of at least one upset (KC-PIT was a toss-up) with their differing Confidence Rankings, that meant it was probable we'd have a winner:
Commish's boys came through Sunday afternoon, the Chiefs' 2-point conversion didn't count, and @nbossert emerged as BFIG's 8th champion.
SOME WORDS FROM OUR CHAMP:
"I’ve participated in this league several years and never thought I’d win anything, let alone be the 2016 BFIG TITLE BELT HOLDER (please tell me there is an ACTUAL belt... I’ll provide my address!)
"Strategy-wise, I don’t believe I ever went with a team not favored. I tried picking home teams. Finally, I avoided specific shitty teams known to bust from time to time: Dolphins*, Colts, Jaguars, Rams, Buccaneers, Saints, Chargers.
"*OK, I picked them, but in Week 3 against the Browns... (Commish note: And escaped via the Brownsiest of margins.)
"Another rule I enforced was 'No Second Guesses.' I never changed an initial pick I wanted to go with. I consider this 'disrespect of the ultimate form.' Yes, that’s right, disrespecting yourself. If I ever needed to debate a pick, I did it on the toilet. It really is the only place/time you get a clear mind to review such critical decisions.
"My most painful feeling this season was in Week 17, once I realized I had one more week to pick correctly and also attempt to go 15-0 in the Title Belt Tiebreaker. I was drunk in Florida. First, I really thought the Chiefs were going to somehow blow it against the Chargers. I also had the Steelers, who were benching people, but were also playing the Browns. I slept through the game – thankfully, because I heard it was close. (Commish note: Pittsburgh had a 5% chance of winning with less than a minute to go.) I think I also had the Bucs against the Panthers. Again, slept through it – thankfully. Things worked out. As they say – sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good!
"Then there was last night (Sunday). I was about to shit a brick when I saw The Cowboys coming back against The Packers. I knew my only chance was to have both the Packers and Steelers win (or else we’d tiebreak again). Thank you, Mason Crosby. Then, same thing in the night game. The Chiefs blow, but somehow almost won. When they went for the 2-point conversion successfully, I punched the wall. When it was called back for holding, I wish I hadn’t punched the wall. It was all gravy from there.
"Words cannot express my emotions; I am the champ. Expressions cannot expound my pride; I reign with honor. I pick, therefore I am; BFIG 4 Life!"
A speech fit for a king! Nice work, @nbossert. It's good to know that the toilet is where BFIG magic is born, and that our champ has impeccable semicolon usage.
On the flip side, never has someone come so close to the crown so many times. Had the Browns not Brownsed at the bitter end of Week 17, @jmanfield would be our champ. Had Eric Fisher not held James Harrison, @jmanfield could very well be our champ.
Let's hear from the most successful runner-up in BFIG history:
"In September, I joined a survivor pool for the first time ever because the prize was $40K. For $30. For three months, all I heard was gambling bullshit comments from my wife. Now, tonight, she was mad Dallas lost. In any event, for several weeks it was pick whoever is playing Cleveland. Then, the last game of regular season, it flipped. Cleveland beats Pittsburgh and I would have won. In regulation. And again in OT. But no, because it wasn't the Cavs!! And tonight, KC tying Pittsburgh on the 2-point conversion. But no, holding. Ugh. I'm actually glad this is over, because it's been so stressful. I never expected to win any money, so this finish is gravy!"
What style. What grace. Thanks for a killer season, @jmanfield, and I hope your wife appreciates your football prowess 15,000 times more than she did in September.
And now, let's do this thing. There isn't a physical Belt yet (YET!), but that doesn't mean it's any less real. Ladies and gentlemen, the 8th annual THE NFL (Brett Favre Isn't Gonna) Survivor Pool Title Belt:
LET'S REVISIT THE BEST BFIG COMMENT OF THE YEAR
In Week 6, we knew the Browns were bad. But Cody Kessler looked kinda sorta not bad. I mean, he didn't lead the Browns to any victories, but was it possible that he wasn't totally Brownsy?
All our wonderings about Cody were put to bed with @LeVeonBell420's incredible comment, illuminating exactly why the Browns were destined for 1-15:
"Tall, handsome, and generally always well-liked by his peers, the starting quarterback at my beloved alma mater, the University of Southern California, has historically been a mantle of American virility. I've admired the chiseled good looks of our starting quarterbacks to just-this-side of heterosexuality, and though unrelated it seems, the physical attractiveness of our quarterbacks tends to correlate with their on-field success at USC. Leinart: Heisman. Palmer: Heisman. Matt "Why the long face?" Cassell: On the bench.
"The summer after Barkley was a transitional period for USC, if you were on the field for practice during drills (and thus deaf), it was pretty clear who the heir apparent was going to be: The frozen rope-throwing beast god leaving Pi Kapp with two comely lasses at a time, Mr. Max Wittek. Wittek had all the makings of an NFL-ready quarterback: great arm, instinctual (at times perilous) decision-making, and of course most importantly, he was a tremendous prick. But apparently the coaching staff thought some country-music loving dude out of Bakersfield, California was a better fit for our offense.
"Why Lane Kiffin opted for the guy with the beer league arm to throw bubble screens is beyond me, but by my limited personal interaction with them, Cody Kessler, like Kiffin, was careful, measured, and an all-around nice guy. My vision of Cody's future prospects in the NFL was solidified one Thursday night during my final semester at 'SC. It was about 12:30 or 1 a.m., and I was making a stop at the 7-Eleven off Figueroa just north of campus near the West 27th apartments. I'm going through the 7-Eleven fridge for some Gatorade when I notice a young man having a mild argument with a girl. 'You're the quarterback, you're just like them. You're not even going to call me back, and I'm not that kind of girl,' she said. It was Kessler, now in front of me in line at the 7-Eleven.
"'I'm not that kind of guy,' Kessler protested in that mild baritone. He turns around and looks at me, recognizing me from being a Daily Trojan sportswriter. And then it just came out of my mouth, because f*** it, this man has served as the quarterback at the school I love for the better part of the last three years. 'He's not,' I said definitively. Kessler looked up at me again, a little flustered. And I continued. 'I cover Cody for the Trojan. He's a nice dude who makes good decisions. You're in good hands.'
"The concern scrunching his forehead loosened and his eyes lit into a smile. 'Thanks, man.' I gave him the Fight On, and the couple walked out holding hands. I got my Gatorade, walked into my car for the drive back to Orange County and thought to myself, 'Jesus. Cody Kessler can't close without a wingman.' ... Titans by two touchdowns."
ALL PAYOUTS, ALL RECAPS AND PREVIEWS, ALL EVERYTHING LIVES ON THE BFIG COMPETITION PAGE
The gray "SZN recap" sidebar houses all competition info, and it's there on every competition page. (On a phone, this section shows at the bottom of the page.) View BFIG's competition page here.
Payouts process the week following the Super Bowl. Commish will be in touch with all you brilliant football minds soon.
Thanks for another year of maximum FUNFUEGO, everyone. Your comments, enthusiasm, and general ridiculousness are what make this place so rad. Can't wait for BFIG 2017, which will almost certainly end in Week 7.