@TheCommish and his dad, @BigDaddy, have never had a losing NFL betting season. We have no idea how. Each week, we rank the best survivor picks.
ESPN put out their weekly power rankings feature with a "Possible overreaction" bit for each team. The "overreaction" for the Jags was, "Jacksonville could be on the rise."
ESPN sucks. Traditional power rankings suck. SURVIVOR power rankings are where it's at. My dad and I rank and discuss each favored team. And since my mom is the best SZN picker in my family (she won the whole damn March Madness bracket last year!), I include her picks, too.
Commish: "We nailed the Rams as our #2 team last week even though they were just 3.5 point favorites."
BigDaddy: "I told you they're better this year. The Rams got Wade Phillips coaching the D.
C: Wade Phillips has been coaching in the NFL longer than his head coach has been alive.
BD: Then you've got Dick LeBeau. I think he's still the D coordinator for the Titans. He just turned 80.
C: If the Titans win the Super Bowl then go get crunk at the club, does Dick LeBeau join them?
BD: Probably not. I gotta think the guy goes to bed.
C: C'monnnnnn, Dick!
Vegas line listed next to each favorite. Home teams in caps. Power ranks result from the average of our three individual rankings. Full commentary below.
#1: RAIDERS (-14) over Jets
Average ranking: 1.0; everyone's top pick
C: We're unified at the top, Daddio. Is there any way, any scenario, where the Raiders lose this game?
BD: If pretty boy there falls into a fissure from an earthquake.
C: If pretty boy falls into a fissure... that's all you've got.
BD: Yup. Derek Carr. Pretty boy.
#2: RAVENS (-7.5) over Browns
Average ranking: 3.0
C: We're also in agreement on #2. I mean, Cleveland showed some spunk last week, but...
BD: To gauge Brownsyness, to see if the Browns are competitive in this game - I think that's what you're looking for. It's hard to start with back-to-back divisional games.
C: Is it good for BFIG or bad for BFIG if the Browns are better?
BD: It depends on what the Jets do.
C: Well, the Jets are gonna suck.
BD: Hue Jackson is a good coach.
C: The best coach ever with a 1-16 record?
#3: Cardinals (-7.5) over COLTS
Average rank: 4.7
BD: Let's talk about that Seattle game.
C: Well, wait. We can't skip the Colts. Is our summary for the Colts game that the Colts suck?
BD: Yeah. I don't know why the networks would even show any Colts games this year. Even the Jets are more interesting.
C: Ouch.
BD: Not good. I mean, how old is Frank Gore? He's like half of Wade Phillips' age. Arizona's not very good, either. And still.
C: Which is telling. They're favored by 7.5 on the road without their running back, having looked terrible last week.
#4: SEAHAWKS (-13.5) over Niners
Average rank: 6.0
C: I thought I was docking this game having it fifth. You have it all the way down at 11th.
BD: Division game. They hate one another. I think Seattle is hurting. I think Eddie Lacy is...
C: He's fat.
BD: He's a ghost of himself. I'm not sure Seattle even wins this game.
C: Jesse Lee asked us if there was a clawback provision in Eddie Lacy's weigh-in incentives.
#5: BENGALS (-6.5) over Texans
Average rank: 7.0
C: I have Houston-Cincy 11th. You have them 2nd.
BD: Houston is bad. Houston is really baaaad.
C: Yeah.
BD: Baaaaaad. I believe Cushing has a concussion and I believe Watt hurt his finger.
C: The Bengals lost 20-0 at home last week. The Bengals were the worst team in the NFL last week. They were a disaster. If you go by "records matter more than perception," then I don't know how you pick them this week. What makes you think Cincy is better?
BD: Was Andy Dalton just really bad in that game or something?
C: He had the lowest single-game QBR in the history of the metric.
BD: Unless there's a fissure there, too, he's gonna have a better game this week.
#6: CHIEFS (-4.5) over Eagles
Average rank: 7.3
C: The next eight games all feel kind of similar. We have them clumped between an average rank of 7.3 and 10.7. Let's call out games where we're quite different.
#10: STEELERS (-6.5) over Vikings
Average rank: 9.3
BD: Why so high? You have Pittsburgh all the way up at #4?
C: There's a few things at play here: 1) You guys live in Minnesota, and 2) You were at the Saints-Vikings game, and Bradford looked like he's gonna win the MVP. What are the odds that Minnesota goes into Pittsburgh and wins?
BD: Not very high. But if there's a team on the up-and-coming, it's them. They've got a great defense. Roethlisberger has a history of bringing his team back in the fourth quarter, and that'll be hard against the Vikings defense.
C: If Pittsburgh wins by two touchdowns, no one will be that surprised.
#12: Patriots (-6.5) over SAINTS
Average rank: 10.7
BD: "I'm kind of surprised we have this game so low."
C: It's the whole records matter more than perception thing. If there's anything BFIG has taught me over 9 years, it's that. The Patriots are still the Patriots until they're not. And right now, they're 0-1.
BD: Yup. Brady turns 40 this week. He's half the age of Dick LeBeau.
C: If the Patriots win the Super Bowl and go get crunk at the club, will Tom Brady be there?
BD: Oh ya. Oh ya.
#13: Cowboys (-2.5) over BRONCOS
Average rank: 9.0
C: Why do you have Dallas-Denver at #4?
BD: I think Dallas is the real deal. I do. I wouldn't be surprised if Dallas wins the Super Bowl. They've got a potent offense and great offensive line.
C: If Dallas gets the 1-seed and the Packers come to town again, I would NOT want to be in that stadium.
#15: GIANTS (-4) over Lions
Average rank: 14.0; @TheCommish and @LibbySims' upset pick
BD: The Lions-Giants game is the one to bet. That line is too high. If the Giants go 0-2, watch out. Their coach will be in trouble.
C: McAdoo.
BD: He's got kinda a weird shape to his body.
C: Do you think McAdoo gets crunk in the club?
BD: Wasn't his father a coach?
C: I know nothing about Ben McAdoo.
#16: FALCONS (-2.5) over Packers
Average rank: 14.7; @BigDaddy and @LibbySims' bottom ranked game
BD: Pack-Falcons. We'll be ready.
C: You and Mom both have it 16th, but I still have the NFC Championship in my mind.
BD: We're gonna play better this time.
C: Now that Olivia's gone, who should Rodgers date?
BD: There must be something odd about the guy. He doesn't seem to maintain relationships with people. Who's his best friend? Michael Jordan?
C: What? Aaron Rodgers isn't friends with Michael Jordan, is he?
BD: I don't know. Who's his best friend?
C: Not Michael Jordan, Dad. But maybe it's the State Farm cheesehead guy. I'll be Aaron's best friend.
BTW, does anyone know Aaron? GET HIM IN THE POOL!!!
Week 1 results: @LibbySims 96 points, @TheCommish 91, @BigDaddy 86
