Disciples of the Green Stank,

First, a critical update: Giorgio Tavecchio has not accepted my Facebook friend request. I'm questioning everything I've ever known. @jjhauser11, your dignity and honor are on the line, man.

NOW, most of you reading this are pretty damn happy. That was our most prolific Week 2 in BFIG history. Commish was like, "We're too confident." The NFL's shit teams were like, (poop emoji poop emoji... human bitmoji spiking football into poop emoji).

Just how buttery was our Week 2 finish? Take a stroll down BFIG memory lane:

Translation: Seahawks O-Line butter. Ted Ginn, Jr. hands butter. GOODELL MORAL COMPASS BUTTER.

Let's go get our recap on.

WEEK 2 HEALTH CHECK: WE LOOK DAMN GOOD

Damage done: 5,078 started the week; 11 picked teams lost, knocking out 246 people; 4,832 of us are moving on to Week 3.

Could it have been worse? Far worse. Our fourth largest pick - Arizona - trailed the Colts the entire game until the Colts finally Coltsed enough to gift the Cardinals a win. The Seahawks were our second largest pick and easily could have lost at home (as a 14-point favorite!) to the Niners. Commish apologizes to everyone who had to endure Seattle's 12-9 victory, best summed up by this:

Closest call: Cardinals over Colts. With Arizona down 13-3 in the fourth quarter, this looked like a classic "Week 1 overreaction" game. The Colts weren't the 2016 Browns, and the Cardinals weren't underperformers... they were just old. Arizona tied it up, the game went to OT, Jacoby Brissett threw a pick on the extra frame's first play, and the Cards snuck away with a W.

Easiest win: Raiders over Jets. Oakland rushed 27 times for 6.7 yards per carry. Oakland had SIX plays of over 20 yards. Oakland 45. Jets 20. Oakland good. Jets bad.

Toughest loss: Dolphins beat Chargers. I'd call this "moving your team to a city that doesn't want you" karma, but the Chargers have Chargersed like this for years. As they lined up for a game-winning field goal attempt, what percentage of the population thought they'd make it?

Team SZN record: 2-0. First thing @TheGM says to me last week: "Dude, I didn't pick the Texans!" Commish has a lot going on, OK? Lay off me! @TheGM is on to Week 3 for the first time ever, and Commish is hoping to see Week 4 for the first time since... 2010.

YOU CAN NOW DO WEEKLY PICK'EMS WITHIN YOUR GROUPS

Groups are like a super simple fantasy football league you can do for any SZN competition. Whoever does best in your group, wins.

You can now do weekly pick'ems. Play for bragging rights, or throw $5 or $10 into a side pot. Here's how:

1. Create a group if you aren't in one yet. Use the tools in "Group details" to invite friends or coworkers.
2. Add "NFL Week 3 Pick'em" by clicking "Add a competition" in the "Group picks" section. (If you aren't the group owner, go hustle the owner!)
3. Get picks in by the deadline - Thursday at 5:20pm PDT, just like BFIG
4. Win your group pick'em, Beastmode dance, chug 27 BLLs, and run it back next week

VISIT THE GROUPS PAGE AND MAKE IT HAPPEN >>

Have other competitions you want to do with your group? Reply and let me know!

WEEK 3 SURVIVOR PICK POWER RANKINGS ARE LIVE

Commish soared into the lead with a dominant Week 2 performance, nailing his top nine picks. Will I keep it going? Will I fall flat on my face?

COMMISH AND BIGDADDY'S WEEK 3 SURVIVOR POWER RANKINGS >>

HOUSEKEEPING

• SMS pick reminders once again saved tons of people in Week 2. Turn 'em on: theSZN.com/account/edit
• The links to make picks are always in your homepage "Active Competitions" section. Your homepage is theSZN.com
• Picks lock THURSDAY at 5:20pm PDT. There are zero exceptions. Make a pick early; change it if needed.
• Your pick isn't locked until you see the pick confirmation page. Selecting your team DOES NOT LOCK IN YOUR PICK. You have to click "Submit picks."
• Second Chance Pool starts in Week 5.Join it now.
• You can create and join groups at any time. If you and your friends aren't competing for bragging rights or a side pot yet, get in a group together.
• Commish and GM play in all SZN competitions, but we can't win any money. This isn't DraftKings amateur hour. But you bet your ass I want the Title Belt!
• The Green Bay Packers always start 1-1. No sweat.
• The Green Bay Packers will win the Super Bowl
• Commish loves you

New friends can play in the Second Chance Pool and our other two upcoming competitions. Tell 'em to get in!

CHECK OUT ALL THE LATEST POSTS AND POLLS HERE