Latest posts

BFIG Week 3 Update

by TheCommish

That was our most prolific Week 2 in BFIG history. Commish was like, "We're too confident." The NFL's shit teams were like, (poop emoji poop emoji... human bitmoji spiking football into poop emoji). See how our Week 2 performance compared to previous years...

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BFIG PICKS: Week 2

by TheCommish

Commish can feel the overconfidence. We're all a little too "Brett Favre when he sees it's ONLY double coverage" right now. Sometime last season, our picking became about the stankness of the stank instead of the greatness of the great. We're due for a correction soon...

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BFIG Week 2 Update

by TheCommish

THE RAMS: Good? THE COLTS: What the f*** did we just watch? THE BROWNS: Good lord they're Brownsy again... but wait, maybe they're not? THE TEXANS: Woof. We fared pretty well in the first week of BFIG's ninth season. Where we go from here is anyone's guess...

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SURVIVOR PICK POWER RANKINGS: Week 2

by TheCommish

The Raiders look like a mortal lock at home to the Jets... is there scenario in which they lose? @BigDaddy thinks there is. Plus, we question the 13.5-point-favorite Seahawks, and reflect on Browns Brownsiness...

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BFIG PICKS: Week 1

by TheCommish

Circa year 4 of BFIG, Commish started talking like he knew how this survivor thing goes. He'd seen the patterns, crunched the numbers. Now, in year 9, well... lol. Commish has a new approach: WATCH FOOTBALL EAT NACHOS DRINK BUD LIGHT LIME. And let the survivor-induced craziness wash over us...

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BFIG PICKS: Special Pats-Chiefs Edition

by TheCommish

Picture Commish, Bud Light Lime'd up after a furious pick comment review, literally jumping in the air and GRONKSPIKING his laptop keyboard... three times bc shit is hard to click... to send this email. REAL FOOTBALL. HERE WE GO!

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SURVIVOR PICK POWER RANKINGS: Week 1

by TheCommish

Commish and his dad, @BigDaddy, are at it again. This year, we're ranking all favored teams by how good of a survivor pick they'd be. Should you listen to us? DEFINITELY I have no f***ing idea...

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TORPEDOED SURVIVOR DREAMS: Know the 5 teams with giant wakes of BFIG misery

by TheCommish

BFIG is entering its 9th year. More than 10,000 picks have been made. More than 10,000 title belt dreams have been crushed. Do teams equally split the dream crushing? Hell no. Learn which five teams can't WAIT to torpedo your $50,000 dreams...

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WEEK 1 MOXIE RANKINGS: How bold will your first pick be?

by TheCommish

We all BADLY want to survive Week 1. But that doesn't mean you're running to Tom and Bill. The weekly "You've Got Moxie, Kid" Award is BFIG's oldest tradition, given to the person with the boldest pick. Here's an early shot at ranking Week 1's games by Moxie level.

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POLL: What's the BEST way to spend BFIG's $50,000 first prize?

by TheCommish

Let this NFL season's first comments party begin. Take 2017's first poll, and Commish will feature some of the better ideas (though I'm not sure "better" is the right word here)...

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BEHOLD the BFIG Pick Comment Hall of Fame

by TheCommish

In 2010, @joepreiner (BFIG's first-ever Second Chance champ) was riled up over his Week 1 win. He was probably drunk. His Bears-Lions themed "I Will Survive" parody birthed a level of commenting absurdity this world had never seen. Now it's forever immortalized...

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BFIG 2016 Season Recap: We've Hit Peak Brownsy Browns

by TheCommish

One year after the most brutal survival season on record, the pendulum absolutely... well, it absolutely Brownsed. Cleveland accounted for more BFIG victories in 2016 than the *total* of any BFIG season prior, forcing the Title Belt to be decided by the largest tiebreaker in BFIG history...

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2017 NFL SZN: Tell Commish what you want to read!

by TheCommish

I sent off the "OH YES WE'RE BACK" email this morning, and I've already received two responses from people claiming to be Bud Light Lime drunk. IT'S SO GOOD TO BE BACK. Now, tell me what you want to read this SZN...

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AFTER THE FINAL #LOVE FORECAST: We crown a Rosedown champ

by TheCommish

In a historic, unprecedented, controversial, and UNASSAILABLY DRAMATIC event, Commish reveals our final #LOVE Forecast results one by one until we determine The SZN's inaugural Bachelor Rosedown champion.

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The SZN March Madness Tipoff: Commish counts down his greatest March memories

by TheCommish

You start to "get it" around age 10. Lucky for me, the late 90s were stacked with incredible March Madness moments. From Bryce Drew's Valpo miracle to Rip Hamilton's chaos-redefining buzzer-beater, these are my most cherished March memories...

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The SZN March Madness Tipoff: AN ODE TO IMPERFECTION

by TheCommish

March Madness is what it is because of the chaos and imperfection. So why do all March Madness competitions revolve around the picks and not the Madness? THAT'S ABOUT TO CHANGE!

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LIMITED RECALL, ep. 9: The sex robot gets unplugged

by TheCommish

Commish's latest invention: LIMITED RECALL BACHELOR RECAPS! These are recaps written a minimum of three days later, without the ability to re-watch the show, having only paid marginal attention to the original airing due to excessive ice cream and Cheetos consumption.

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Bachelor ep. 7 recap: Punched sharks and broken sex robots

by TheCommish

Despite malfunctioning while performing THE ONLY THING IT WAS DESIGNED TO DO, Corinne the Blonde Sex Robot is one of three women with a chance to win The Bachelor. Here's how it unfolded...

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Bachelor ep. 6 recap: Corinne SLAYS, Danielle L PRAYS, and Whitney MMK'S

by TheCommish

Nick sends six - six! - women home as he barrels toward an emotional breakdown. And after five episodes, we finally get to hear from Whitney! She has a LOT to say. And what she says moves humanity forward in a way only The Bachelor can produce...

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Bachelor ep. 3 recap: Bouncy castles, BSB, and barf

by TheCommish

Nick gets upstaged by the Backstreet Boys to such a ridiculous extent that he has to be convinced the women only went on the show to meet BSB. Then Nick cries on a first date with Vanessa, but only after Corinne has him lick whipped cream off her boobs. LET'S RECAP!

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BFIG 2016 is OVER: Commish awards The Belt

by TheCommish

The season ended in an eerily similar way to BFIG 2014, the only other time the race for sports most coveted title belt lasted till the Divisional Round. Commish gives you the results, and outlines how our final two could have won $2.54 million with their picks...

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HasselBracket Update: How many 8-0s?

by TheCommish

Commish reveals the HasselBracket leaderboard with three picks to go, and reveals just what happens when you pick against the Green Bay Packers in the playoffs. Seriously. If there's ONE thing you learn from me...

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Bachelor recap, episode 2: FRANCO!! leaves an indelible mark on human history

by TheCommish

Door 1: Episode 2 was lame. Everyone was hammered, Nick was a word slurring machine, Corinne is the Kobe Bryant of Bachelor ball sharing, and there was no rose ceremony. Door 2: Episode 2 was transcendent and transformative because of FRANCO!! We choose door 2!

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NFL Update: BEHOLD! We award the Rex Ryan Buffet Plate

by TheCommish

One man went 21-0 (including two wins per week since Week 10) and capped it off with a 4-0 pickoff. SHOW HIM WHAT HE'S WON! Commish also recaps HasselBracket round 1, and agonizes over the hardest playoff betting decision of his life...

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Bachelor recap, episode 1: Dolphin Girl is everything & nothing else matters

by TheCommish

You could say this is a recap of episode 1, but mostly it's a recap of Dolphin Girl. Because 1) Dolphin Girl is the best, and 2) Dolphin Girl just set a new Bachelor franchise record for "Most hammered to still receive a rose."

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